I'd like to know exactly what you said to encourage your hub' to broaden his horizon.
I won't post the actual letter on here, there were too many very personal issues I touched on. But I will give you a run down of the things I said. One thing I had to reiterate over and over again was that this should be done with love. That was his biggest issue, to him, it all felt like abuse. And that was not a path he wanted to go down. Hehe, and I have to say, the sex was
amazing last night! He stepped into it very well!
To start, I opened by apologizing for opening the conversation in the wrong way, telling him I realized that I had tried to explain it all wrong, that what I was asking for and what he was thinking were not quite the same things. I then filled him in on how long I've had these thoughts and desires, explaining that it took me years to even put them into words and even more time to reconcile what it was that I felt and wanted with what society dictates for women today. I completely opened up to him, telling him how long it took me make the decision to tell him I wanted to try this lifestyle, and how difficult it was for me to find the courage to even begin the discussion. Then I told him that I wanted to explain the relationship and what it is that I wanted, asking him to not allow his mind to go straight to the extremes. I explained that this was two fold, that there was more complexity to the relationship than meets the eye and got right down to it.
I started with the sexual aspect, straight up telling him again that I like to be dominated. I did put in a quick sentence after that saying that it doesn't mean he has to break out the whips, chains and leather masks. I wanted him to come into this with an open mind and tried to steer him away from the extreme pain that comes to his mind with domination (besides, I'm not ready for a whip yet, lol!) We can grow through that aspect together, right now I just wanted him to focus on the domination. I explained how much being dominated turns me on and was carefull not to make him feel as though he was doing something wrong in the bedroom. I literally went through some of the favorite things he does told him how much I enjoy them (allowing myself to get pretty graphic), affirming that even without the actual domination, I was still enjoying every minute. I explained the emotional factor and how it can improve on already great things, making them better for both of us. I ended this section, letting him know that if he wanted to try this, or push things further, that I was fully on board. I ended the paragraph saying "I want to give my body to you, to use and love whenever, wherever, however you want. To fully belong to you in every sense of the word. All you have to do is say the word and your desire will be my pleasure."
Then I went on to explain what I really mean when I say I want to be submissive to him. I reiterated that it had taken me years to come to terms with this, that I had been doing a lot of soul searching and had come to the conclusion that this is just how I'm "wired". I explained my desire to please him, to serve him, to do everything to my fullest ability to just see him happy. I discussed how I view my capabilities as his wife, and for the first time, went over all the areas in which I find myself lacking in our relationship. I told him that I wanted to give myself fully to him emotionally, physically and lovingly; to give him control over me and that with his help, I could become a better wife to him, a better mother to our children and a better person overall. I explained how a dom can bring a sub to her fullest potential, teaching, guiding, growing together. I also explained that a loving dom would do this in a caring manner, that I am not asking to be treated as a doormat. I also touched on his fear that this is an abusive relationship, explaining the different traits. Showing him that an abuser only aims to bring his partner down, whereas in a D/s relationship, you have two consenting adults looking to find harmony in their relationship, two people looking to grow. I was honest, I did tell him how difficult this will be for me in the beginning, learning to surrender everything, but I made it clear that this was my desire. That I was coming to him willingly. (This was actually quite a long section, but as I said, a lot of very private stuff that I discussed)
I then gave him a few examples of different ways he could dominate me, from demanding certain things in the bedroom, to taking it a step out of the bedroom by not letting me wear panties whenever the fancy struck him (he got a kick out of that one!), to tasks that he expects done around the house. (As I said, I'm a terrible housekeeper, he loved this as well!) I then touched lightly on discipline, saying that if he wanted to take it a step further I would be more than willing to head down that road with him, also giving a few examples. I also reminded him that it's not all about control and discipline, but also rewards as well.
I had fun with it, and showed he that he could have a lot of fun with it as well, although, I did again reiterate that the submissive aspect is very, very real and serious to me.
I brought the letter to an end, making sure it was clear that I want to completely surrender to him, that I was giving him my full trust. I also told him that I was not going to press the issue any further, that this was not something I wanted to force him into. I told him that I wanted him to come into the lifestyle willing, even if it was just baby step. I made sure he understood that I would accept what ever decision he made, whether he wanted nothing to do with it, just certain portions, or even if he wanted to just jump right in. I ended by telling him that I was, in that moment, giving myself to him completely. Body, mind and soul.
That was it. I'm still not sure what spoke to him the most, maybe it was jsut the combination of it all. Whatever it was, I'm just glad it worked!
