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Surreal, start with doing 30-40 minutes on the elliptical machine. It's fairly easy, you won't look like you don't know what you're doing (because it's so simple there's not much to know), and after a semester or so you'll be conditioned to move up to something more strenuous like a treadmill or a bike.
See if your gym has a fitness trainer for cheap. Even if you can't afford one regularly, see if you can get a free consultation or pay for one session and just have the trainer teach you how to use a few pieces of equipment so you can feel confident you're using them properly. If that doesn't work, poke around on the internet for how-to videos or websites that describe the exercises you want to do.
I couldn't have done the 16 k bike ride a year ago. I had to work up to it. Three years ago, I was just walking 3-4 times a week. So do a bike ride or run or swim or whatever and find an amount that's manageable. Every couple of weeks try to go a little bit farther, or go a little faster or harder or do a more challenging course or whatever. Find something you can enjoy, to make those first two months easier. After 2-3 months of regular exercise, you will built a habit and going regularly will be much easier, and eventually your body will start to crave it.
Diet is trickier, at least for me. I can't make huge changes real quickly. So identify one food-related thing you can change. For me the first big change was giving up soda. I didn't make any other changes while I was trying to do that, but after about a month of not drinking soda and knowing that I had kicked that bad habit, I identified something else. Right now I'm trying to be better about breakfasts. I've started making breakfast smoothies using healthy recipes.
Tell yourself you're going to learn to cook one easy dinner meal using fresh ingredients. Force yourself to make that one meal maybe once a week until you feel you've mastered it. Then learn a second recipe, and then a third. Then force yourself to eat two home-cooked meals a week, and so on. Basic cooking is actually fairly easy as long as you start with simple recipes and learn the basic techniques. Basic stir-fries are really easy and, other than the chopping things first, goes really quickly.
Pat yourself on the back every time you do something new or challenging. It's very easy to develop a negative voice that says things like "I'm a lousy cook" or "I can't do that exercise, because I'll look stupid". So get used to saying things like "wow, that meal turned out pretty well, even if I did overcook the meat a bit" or "You should be proud of yourself. You worked out today even though you didn't want to."
Figure out what motivates you. Reward yourself for accomplishing things. If you like shopping, promise yourself that after you work out three times in one week, you can buy yourself a new pair of shoes or that cute blouse or whatever. Then increase the amount you have to do to get another reward. Give yourself a mantra "If I work out enough, I'll lose a dress size." My mantra is "If I work out enough, hot guys will have sex with me." It's shallow, but it works for me.
The most important thing, I think, is to realize that you're not making a short-term change. You're not going on a diet for a month or just exercising until you lose 10 lbs. You're making a permanent life change. You are making yourself into someone who exercises regularly, eats healthily, and enjoys all the physical, social, and emotional benefits of that. Thinking this way helps you realize that healthy living isn't a one-time destination; it's a journey. There is always something new you can try, a slightly more challenging exercise, a bad habit you can work on. But because it's the journey, not the destination that matters, if you slip up and binge or miss your workouts for a week, it doesn't mean you've failed. It's just a small set-back and tomorrow is a new chance for you to work out, eat right, and whatever.
Three years ago I was jealous of people who worked out regularly. Now I am one of those people. You can't imagine how good that feels.
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