Leilani
New Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
I apologise if this has been discussed before, but I'm new and my brief search of the current threads hasn't revealed such a discussion.
I'm very interested in the interaction and philosophy within BDSM communities, so I've been looking through a few of them on the Internet lately, and I was shocked to find out that many of them are extremely narrow-minded and judgmental in the way they view dominant and submissive roles in a relationship.
As a switch, albeit one leaning towards femdom, I was mildly offended that the majority of people who weren't switches would immediately form an opinion about what it must be like for me, and never reconsider their prejudice, even when told about my first-hand experiences that contradicted this prejudice. Being dismissed as not a "real" or "good" domme or sub because I am capable of being both reminded me of someone dismissing a bisexual as not really "interested in" or "good with" either sex because they are capable of loving either.
I've noticed strict dommes and subs usually also tend to look only for pure dommes and subs, and reject the notion of getting involved with a switch at all. I understand that not everyone wants to trade roles in a relationship like I frequently do, but I find it laughable that one would assume that being with a switch would necessarily mean that the switch would want to try on both roles in that specific relationship. It's like saying that a bisexual girl dating another girl is to be expected to want to go at it with a boy at the same time too, simply because she is bisexual. It can happen, but it is not at all necessary. Love and sex simply cannot be generalised into such absolute terms, but depend on who you're with and during what time of your life, so a bisexual can be ecstatic about a happy relationship with the right man, without ever craving a woman's touch, and a switch can be ecstatic about being a domme with the right person, without ever craving to submit to that person instead. I'm not sure why, then, switches are discriminated against as so much less "true" and "capable" than people who aren't capable of switching.
In short, seeing as how much the BDSM community is unfairly judged by certain vanilla folk, I was expecting everyone to be very sweet and accepting towards anyone else's bedroom activities, provided they are performed between mutually consenting adults, but alas, I found out that prejudices are still abundant, just of a different kind. I was wondering whether anyone else has had a similar experience, and what your take is on the whole switch lament. I hope I haven't come across as too harsh, heh, but this did really manage to irk the figurative pants off me!
I'm very interested in the interaction and philosophy within BDSM communities, so I've been looking through a few of them on the Internet lately, and I was shocked to find out that many of them are extremely narrow-minded and judgmental in the way they view dominant and submissive roles in a relationship.
As a switch, albeit one leaning towards femdom, I was mildly offended that the majority of people who weren't switches would immediately form an opinion about what it must be like for me, and never reconsider their prejudice, even when told about my first-hand experiences that contradicted this prejudice. Being dismissed as not a "real" or "good" domme or sub because I am capable of being both reminded me of someone dismissing a bisexual as not really "interested in" or "good with" either sex because they are capable of loving either.
I've noticed strict dommes and subs usually also tend to look only for pure dommes and subs, and reject the notion of getting involved with a switch at all. I understand that not everyone wants to trade roles in a relationship like I frequently do, but I find it laughable that one would assume that being with a switch would necessarily mean that the switch would want to try on both roles in that specific relationship. It's like saying that a bisexual girl dating another girl is to be expected to want to go at it with a boy at the same time too, simply because she is bisexual. It can happen, but it is not at all necessary. Love and sex simply cannot be generalised into such absolute terms, but depend on who you're with and during what time of your life, so a bisexual can be ecstatic about a happy relationship with the right man, without ever craving a woman's touch, and a switch can be ecstatic about being a domme with the right person, without ever craving to submit to that person instead. I'm not sure why, then, switches are discriminated against as so much less "true" and "capable" than people who aren't capable of switching.
In short, seeing as how much the BDSM community is unfairly judged by certain vanilla folk, I was expecting everyone to be very sweet and accepting towards anyone else's bedroom activities, provided they are performed between mutually consenting adults, but alas, I found out that prejudices are still abundant, just of a different kind. I was wondering whether anyone else has had a similar experience, and what your take is on the whole switch lament. I hope I haven't come across as too harsh, heh, but this did really manage to irk the figurative pants off me!
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