Anyone have a clue about online D/s?

sweetling91 · Mar 20, 2013

Hi everyone!!

I'm 21 and kinda new to this whole lifestyle and am currently in an online D/s relationship. I only had the courage to contact someone in this great forum to try out if I liked a bit of kink in my life after years of following the conversations in it.
Right now I really do like this whole lifestyle, at least from what I've experienced until now.

I haven't been in this relationship for long but I've opened myself up to my master far more than I've opened up to anyone else in my life. Sometimes I panic a bit because I'm scared of how much I'm exposing myself to a guy I hardly know. Of course I wouldn't have opened up if I'd had even the tiniest inclination of him being a bad person.

He actually opened me up by being very funny and nice for the first few meetings online just chatting. We talked about random stuff but gradually he added sexually related things into our conversation. You must understand that I'm a very shy and self conscious person concerning my body due to certain a bit traumatic experiences in that area. Nonetheless, I've opened up to my master about some of the things which I'd never done before. It's scary because I can't even admit these things to my own mother who is like a friend to me. He just has that way of easing me into talking and confiding in him and of course in persuading me into trying out some things I'm a bit scared of or apprehensive about.

I've learned more about my body and what its capable to feel and endure then I could have ever dreamed of learning and experiencing. Now I realize that I'm into the erotic sensual pain and the fear of getting caught by my family. I've been raised with pretty rigid Asian believes concerning sexuality since my parents are Asian. It's so confusing how I get torn between my desire to learn more and my upbringing telling me how stupid I am by exposing myself to an almost stranger. Normally all my doubts start a few hours after we've met online but when we talk again then it's as if all my inner struggles have never been. I really don't know how one person can have that effect on me but its very confusing for my brain.

Now my question would be if there is someone out there who experienced or experiences similar doubts, worries or conflicts. If so, how did or do you deal with it and could we maybe be friends and just talk about our experiences/emotions.

I would be so grateful for any sort of reply.

Hugs and kisses to all replyers

stanley_jeffries · Mar 20, 2013

Hi sweetling,
While I don't share the same experience as you, I can absolutely tell you that what you are feeling is both normal and understandable.

Because this is an online relationship I am going to give one important piece of advice. Do not forget your own sense of self-worth, and remember you are a unique human being with your own limits, and aspirations for happiness.

The reason I'm saying this about an online relationship is that so many times an online Dom(me) will actually run multiple relationships at the same time. This type of relationship does not have the same expectations for mutual fidelity as a "real life" relationship.

In other words - please make sure you don't leave yourself emotionally vulnerable.

OK, that aside I think it's wonderful that you are discovering new aspects of your sexuality, and getting over the issue you seem to have with your body.

I said I'd give one piece of advice, but here's another. Regardless of how you feel for this person now, I would urge you to remember that family is the most important thing. We live in societies where divorce in "real life" relationships is (sadly) very frequent. An online relationship tends to be even more tenuous, and subject to failures.

This remark you made caught my eye...

>>>Now I realize that I'm into the erotic sensual pain and the fear of getting caught by my family.

...by all means feel excited by the idea of "getting caught", but please don't do anything that deliberately risks exposing your family to things they really won't understand.

If you were in a long-term, "real life" BDSM relationship then my advice would be to be proud of who you are, and not worry about sharing aspects of your identity with your family. But it's different with an online relationship.

So bottom line. It's great that you are having fun. But make sure you stay safe in terms of preserving your anonymity from this person (standard online safety), and also make sure you insulate your family from any "surprises"

Cheers,
Stanley

sebastian · Mar 20, 2013

Stanley's right. What you're experiencing is pretty normal, both for people your age and for people starting to explore kink. Enjoy it!

My major piece of advice is to not take your online relationship too seriously. The odds of it turning into a physical relationship are low (not zero, just low). Most online relationships seems to fade out over time, for a wide variety of reasons. So don't assume that this is going to become the relationship of your life. Look at it as a fun learning experience that is helping you understand what sort of physical relationship you want.

sweetling91 · Mar 20, 2013

Thanks Stanley and Sebastian for replying ^^

It's nice to know that my reactions are normal. I've already taken measures against the things that you guys warned me of. But thanks for reminding me again. I would never want to expose my family to this if I'm not sure that its part of my life and I also realize that an online relationship can break very easily.
I was or better still am doing this out of curiosity and I have been careful not to leak vital information about my person. I mean this advice is pretty much common sense but I still appreciate it since I know you guys only have my best interest in heart/mind.

So thanks again

baddman · Mar 22, 2013

Hello to you all. I am her Master and owner. She is a good and obedient submissive and now i really would like to hear ideas how to use her?

Tried to post some pictures of her on the other section but it seem that i need 10 post

Is there many online submissives out here?

sweetling91 · Mar 23, 2013

I've never realized how much one can do with a few clothespins and also how much they can hurt. My nipples and breasts were so sensitive afterward that taking a shower or wearing clothes was a bit painful. I was sensitive for quite some hours which was annoying. I'm wondering if everyone is so sensitive for a few hours after being clamped with clothespins. And I'm also curious of the differences in using clothespins with or without rills. Maybe

By the way, can anyone tell me what's supposed to be so great to make a sub drool? I mean I don't like drooling but during our play I kinda enjoyed it that I couldn't close my mouth and talk at all. But what exactly does it do for a Dom except the obvious of the sub not being able to talk back?

Anyone have a clue about online D/s?

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