The random chat/off topic thread

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Thanks tumbl3, but he is doing a lot better now. Right now it is bedtime, and he is as wired as he usually is.

I on the other hand spent all of last night vomiting. I'd love to give details, cause me being sick is a new experience- everytime, however I'll spare everyone the nasty details. I'll just say this: if I have a nasty sinus infection next week, I'll know why.

Seb, very funny. Seriously. Lol.

Alright. To bed I go - for the umpteenth time today.
 
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Dear Murphy, I do not need this. Honestly, I don't think anyone does, but I dear Murphy, have had enough! You can take your damn law that says - "if anything can go wrong, it will" - and shove it up your own. Preferably where the sun don't shine!!


We now have no car. At least until we find a way to get to my inlaws where said car is and all of the tools are to even attempt in fixing it. Plus to get the part that might or might not fix it, won't be here until Tues.

Sigh. Enough moping. I'm going to go find something productive to do all day. And hope I finally get to take a shower. I intended on taking one last night, but I really wanted to watch and finish the extended version of Lord of the Rings. And this morning I didn't get the chance because little Lucifer was awake and before I could send the dogs out to go potty, he was trying to sneek chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.
 
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I'm so fucking bitter towards everything. I'm back to how I was in 2003, now... the darkness is starting to envelope my mind and I almost only feel hatred. All I ever wanted in my life was to find my true love but I am just denied that. It's all I wanted... it'd cure me. Cure me from the bitterness, the darkness, the hatred and the depression. One thing that is really good with the bitterness, hatred and overall darkness is, however, that it pushes the depression aside... it makes you feel stronger, in a way, instead of that your mind merely gets weakened by sadness. Back in 2003, I even started loving it when I started feeling this way... it felt like such a good supplement to the lack of love. Maybe turning out this way, again, merely is for the best?
 
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Rest in peace, my friend... and I'm sorry :/

I just found out that one of my few friends ever in my life, didn't stop talking to me because she just had been using me for my money and help, but because she was cutting off contact with everyone, before taking her life in September, last year. I feel ashamed of having thought that she used me when she really was just doing so poorly - I knew how badly she was doing, yet I allowed my cynicism to conjure up untrue things about her, just because it "added up" to being "possible". I have recently started thinking that cynicism is the way to go in life, but here is proof that I was wrong.

Rest in peace, my friend. I know you are in a better place, now, and I refuse to believe anything else but that you soon will get the happiness you deserve.


...Reading her old SMS'es to me feels so weird, now. :/
 
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I'd be more concerned with her sister, who told me...

I was very annoyed with her, to say the very least, last time I talked with her, in April, and a bit afterwards, openly accusing her of just having used me for my help. :/ It all did look strange and it was easy to misinterpret things, but I shouldn't have assumed things, anyway... I should've remained neutral. I feel guilty. :/ I'm sure she stopped writing me back so I would dislike her, since it'd be easier for me when she'd be dead, then, as her sister said she in fact had been doing to her friends, beforehand... cutting them off. I keep thinking that she remembered me as "hating her", when she died. I'd like to visit her grave and say I'm sorry I ever thought what I did... maybe she'd be listening. She lives... -_- ..lived in another country, though... not that it'd be a problem going there...
 
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I too am sorry for your loss Death.

I think it is good that you want to go to her grave. I myself, have been thinking about visiting my grandfather lately.

I also think that she'd still be listening, even if she did die thinking you hated her (because she pushed everyone away, from my understanding), it would mean more to her to that you really did care for her. It is easy to forget that there is people who still love and care for you - I forget a lot, and it is always wonderful to hear and realized that people and your loved ones do still care about you.

if you aren't able to visit her grave, I think lighting a candle next to some flowers and/or a thing that reminds you of her and just talking will work.



Anyways, I am trying to understand how two women who should be medically unable to bear children are both pregnant. Okay so maybe I am exzaggerating a bit, but one had her appendix explode and left some serious scaring in its wake, and she just had a child - which in itself was a miracle - and is pregnant again. The second woman has some problem with her uterus (I cannot remember, it has been a while since I was told of her condition). I'm not upset or angry that they are pregnant. I'm about as happy for them as I can be. I just can't understand how they can become pregnant with their disabilities and I can't.....

Oh, and my car is running again. It wasn't the timing belt. However, my car had over 113,000 miles and was still running on the ORIGINAL timing belt. Thank whomever that it hasn't broke! We still went ahead and changed it. But the problem was a sparkplug had backed out.
 
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