safe words

[InnocentLooks]

I don't like safe words, not because of any issue of trust, but because I don't feel like it's true dominance if I can call it off at any point.

 

[Perceived Wings]

Safe words are designed to be completely off topic and never to come up regularly in sex/conversation. They're to be used if the Dom goes too far somehow and the sub wants to call it off. The purpose of its irrelevancy is because words like "No." and "Stop." crop up fairly often, and can be easily disregarded.

The option of use is best left to an agreement between Dom and sub, though I would recommend using them until you trust the person.

 

[Optical_Delusion]

It surprises me that the folks here talk about trust, as if that's the only reason to have a safe word. Safe words are an important part of the "safe" part of 'safe, sane, consensual". It's one thing to say, "I trust my Master to know my limits." What happens if you have a medical emergency pop up?

I wouldn't think of doing BDSM without having a safe word. This comes from the fact that my wife is diabetic, and there are certain things we have to watch for. (In fact, one issue isn't pain but whenever she has a lack of pain.)

 

[f0rbidden]

safe word info

i have a safe word, Master and i discussed it at the very beginning of our relationship. i have used it - once - because i have asthma, and i couldn't breathe.

i would NEVER use my safeword to stop something because 'it hurt' or because i just 'didn't feel like it' because not only would that be a huge breach of trust, but if i use my safe word, yes everything immediately STOPS -- permanently for that day.

bidden

 

[cammeddrz]

my slave and i have a safe-word but haven't used it in the 4 years since we found one-another

 

[rikkiann]

i trust my owner to know if i have a medical emergency emergency. he knows my reactions to pain. if i start reacting differently he is going to know something is wrong if i start screaming my shoulder hurts and he is whipping my ass i trust him to know something is wrong there. If i have a safe word im going to use it 1 dont like pain but i need it and i want it

 

[Obedient Little Puppy]

My master and I have a safeword, but I've never used it, the reason being because I have a safetoy too. I find this is actually better than a safeword, because it can be used when I'm gagged, which is very often. And because it takes a good moment or two for me to be able to let go of my toy, it gives me chance to make sure that I definitely want that particular game to end.

I'm still new to BDSM and pain, so consequently still exploring my limits. My pain threshold is still extremely poor, but I really want to improve that, and to be able to take more pain in a session. So right now, I am extremely glad of my safetoy.

 

[MrAero]

My master and I have a safeword, but I've never used it, the reason being because I have a safetoy too. I find this is actually better than a safeword, because it can be used when I'm gagged, which is very often. And because it takes a good moment or two for me to be able to let go of my toy, it gives me chance to make sure that I definitely want that particular game to end.

I'm still new to BDSM and pain, so consequently still exploring my limits. My pain threshold is still extremely poor, but I really want to improve that, and to be able to take more pain in a session. So right now, I am extremely glad of my safetoy.

do you just hold on to it and if something were to go wrong, just drop it?

 

[Obedient Little Puppy]

Yeah. It's a small plush animal on a keyring, so I hold it in one hand but loop the ring over one finger. When I want to let go, I take the ring off first and then either drop it, or throw it across the room, making sure that if my master can't see the toy drop, he can hear it as it clinks to the uncarpeted floor.

 

[PuppyPuppyPuppy]

Master and I have a safe word but I've never used it. There have been a couple times he has reprimanded me for not using it, but he always stops if there is the slightest chance of anything being wrong. He also likes having a safe gesture, some cooky arm movement that I wouldn't normally do, because he likes to take me from behind and we have started using one of my rope toys to gag me. I'd use a safe toy too, but it's hard when your hands are on the ground!