Had a question, new to this

[Roland]

I agree with spider in principle. Seizing power can be fleeting, but earning power can last a lifetime. Still, this situation may call for the dumping her on the floor technique. It's really hard to tell where her head is at.

 

[RopeRanger]

The easiest way to gain power maybe to take it, but that's not the best form of it and rarely brings true dominion. The best form is power that's earnt. Because it's build from a more definitive and proven foundation it's harder to argue with and rebel against. (and when I say something like 'with great power comes great responsibility', somebody slap me . . no I mean it)

oh, I agree. You have to earn respect before anyone will willingly consent to a power exchange. However, communication is important and the idea that he should just know what she wants reeks of that old cliche "if you don't know why I'm mad I'm not going to tell you" and that just doesn't cut it in this lifestyle. My suggestion would get two points across - You may be powerful in your vanilla life but I am the dominate partner behind closed doors and if you don't want to work with me and openly communicate then I can shut that door, hence the drop on the floor. I wouldn't do anything further that night kinky or sexual.

Yes, it's temporary. Spankings are designed to gain instant compliance not provide a permanent solution.

 

[spider]

So the plan of attack would be to seize power and after a demonstration of it, find some way to earn it on a longer term. But how do you do that after the humiliation of being dumped on the floor. (genuine question, not a dig . . I think the OP needs more than just an opening salvoe for this to work right.)

 

[L8NightQ]

For people in high positions of power, who are submissives by nature... Periods of submission, usually including pain, are the only time they actually feel free, or "released" from themselves.

That's the simple answer, though there are certainly many.

 

[RopeRanger]

I’m not offering a road map here. I’m simply responding with what has worked for me in the past. Keep in mind that aftercare is still required. A simple hand up, hug and wiping away the tears may lead to an open discussion of why this course of action was taken. But let’s understand - I *don’t* know this person and so I can’t tell you how she’d react.

A more proper response to the situation would be to tell her that communication is key to success especially at this critical point in their relationship and that if she cannot or will not communicate her desires then they cannot move forward. However, given the previous responses I doubt that would make a difference.

There are as many reasons for people, not just those in power, to submit to dominance in BDSM as there are people practicing BDSM so unless she's willing to communicate all we're offering is speculation on what she considers the correct answer for her.