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Here on the good ship SMplace, Sillylittlepet is the Communications officer. She consistently advocates for it, and she's always right. And she's right about this being a very common question. Browse through this section of the forum and read previous posts on this issue, because they always contain good ideas and information, and seeing how others have dealt with it will help you. In particular, Sluttysub is a very good example of how effective communication is getting over her partner's opposition.
If Silly is the Communications Office, I think I'm the Ship's Psychologist ( and Safety Officer). Figure out what your bf thinks SM is about, and correct his mistaken ideas. Let's say you want to be tied up and spanked. So you say, "Please tie me up and spank me." What you mean is "Show me you love me by doing something that I will find sexually exciting and satisfying." Unless he's open-minded, what your bf may hear is something closer to "Show me that you hate me by abusing me." He doesn't hate you, so he can't understand why you would want him to do it. So make sure that he understands that what you are offering him is a voluntary exchange of power in a situation of love.
Unless he's naturally quite dominant, it will take him a while to understand what's going on in your head. He'll hesitate to go as far as you want, because he'll be thinking "Wow. I'd hate it if someone did THIS to me, so there's no way that she'll accept it." And he wont know that THIS is something you've been fantasizing about for months. Subs and vanilla people speak very different languages when it comes to this stuff, so never assume that he knows what you want unless you've discussed it very openly and you know that he understands. Remember that d/s play involves a paradox that what appears to be happening on the outside is very different from what is happening on the inside. At the moment, even if he's part of your scene, he's still mostly on the outside and hasn't mastered the emotional logic that unpleasant things can be pleasing when done in an erotic context.
As for why it's so hard for guys to accept this, we live in a society that emphasizes the equality of the sexes. Men are constantly told that it's important to treat their women like equals and that real love can only exist between equals. So you're asking him to go against all his social conditioning. And he doesn't want to be an abuser, because abusers are evil and he knows he's not evil. What he doesn't realize is that the SM is not abuse, despite what it looks like.
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