Anal sex- Why??

sluttysub · May 14, 2010

L8Night - I do have some concerns, but not to the extent that they will hinder my play. They only make me more cautious about certain things. For instance, when doing anal, my husband will start with a condom on while having vaginal sex, he'll then go to anal. If he wants to go back to vaginal, all he has to do is take off the condom. Quick and easy. Of course, this only works if you're in a monogomous relationship and have an alternative birth control. Ass to mouth? This only happens if he had a condom on during the anal sex. In terms of anal licking, he doesn't care for me to do it to him (whew!), but if I have just showered (and not recently had a bm) he'll lick around the area, but won't go in. As for the prolapse? Scary stuff! There is a reason nothing thicker than a penis is going into my ass - I want it to remain functional! I have never had an anal prolapse, and we've had some pretty hard anal sex. Honestly, I think if you're just going with basic anal, there isn't much to worry about when it comes to prolapses. Now the heavier stuff...watch out!

L8NightQ · May 14, 2010

Thanks for the response. That helps a lot.

precious - good analogy - and a good way to think about it.
ss - I felt the same thing about it. Never anything bigger than me there.

Ghost · May 15, 2010

InnocentFacade said:
*sigh*

I guess I'll just have to try everyone's suggestions and try to suck it up and enjoy it!!!

Thanks guys =)

*e-hugs*

I am a little uncomfortable with your wording above (it may be casual and cause you no trouble but I will caution anyway and you can ignore me if that makes more sense):

Don't just tolerate it -- go slower, find a better lube, take MUCH MORE time to relax, use a smaller toy or a (small)finger, do it yourself with YOU controlling it at first -- do whatever it takes to MAKE IT COMFORTABLE rather than just tolerating it.

As to time it may take TENS of minutes to get started -- really -- and that is a LONG TIME when you are thinking, "Oh, I am just going to stick this in. What's the big deal?"

Even trying to PUSH out can open you up, so pushing and then relaxing even more can help.

Don't overlook the fact that many people will be pushing the WRONG direction (and maybe not accurately targeted on the entrance) or not in a position that allows for opening more easily and fully. Careful exploration will help with these.

Unless you WANT the discomfort or pain, and can accept the risks, find a way to make it comfortable and it will almost certainly be or become HIGHLY ENJOYABLE as well.

Not because you just tolerated it, but because you let yourself relax and found the right combination of pressures and lubricant.

Unless it is part of sado-masochism there is NO REASON for anal to hurt. So unless you are getting something more out of it psychologically, go for the ECSTATIC pleasure it can bring.

Tender loving care with a big does of patience is a big part of the answer.

MasterInTraining · May 15, 2010

L8NightQ said:
Do some, or most, of you worry about this?...... or is it just the discomfort. I know some people really love it, but what precautions do you take when switching after.

This is definitely a huge concern for me, which hinders the amount of time that we(My Sub and I) do anal sex.

The net contains very little information about the CHANCES and the REASONS as to an anal prolapse or tearing of the anal tissue.

Most sites that I find on the net with google are some American religious extremists who says that anal play will always lead to HIV and whatnot.

Well, I'm sure that my sub does not cheat on me, and neither do I. I was tested for STDs before we even had sex, and she was a virgin when we first were together.
Therefore, disease shouldn't be a problem unless of course I stop using a condom and thus risks getting one of those Coli-infections.
(if that were to happen, what would be the standard treatment, and would it damage anything for good, or would it simply be momentary pain and treatment?)

About anal tissue being ripped and anal prolapse. Well, as already stated this definitely keeps me back a bit since I am scared that I might injure her. (I HATE injuries on the inside because it is impossible for me to evaluate the severity of it, when do you need a doctors aid? and when do you not? - somehow a horror image still lurks around in my head, extremely exaggerated events but still something that is hard to ignore due to lack of information on the subject

)
This is also why I often do relaxed and slow anal sex, simply because I am afraid to fuck something up.

When we do it, it is awesome but there definitely are some obstacles in the way, although only mental obstacles it would seem.

I would really like to know how you guys and girls cope with the idea of anal damage.
If any of you know any good site about the subject, please pass on the link. The problem isn't to find guidelines to anal sex, since there are plenty of those sites. The problem is to find a site that accurately details the risks and how to avoid it.
As an example, Anal prolapse appears to be age related, and not really connected with anal sex. Anal sex should actually strengthen your resistance to an anal prolapse since it trains the anal muscle. True or false?
(The statement was provided by sexual-guiders from a Danish site that offers free sexual guiding on ALL subjects completely anonymously)

Ghost · May 15, 2010

Ok, relax. It's not THAT big a deal.

Anything that can happen will happen to someone so be careful, but chances of this are practically NIL IF you use a proper lubricant (I have heard Vaseline is WRONG, but don't know the particulars) AND you avoid anything beyone very mild discomfort/pain.

Pain is usually a signal that you are doing something wrong -- to change your behavior (ignoring for the moment the idea of S&M.) Go slow or use more lubricant when there is pain and stop worrying. Just being constipated and having a large moment is a bigger deal.

There is also 'good' (or at least 'ok') pain, and BAD pain (tearing, breaking, etc) -- avoid the 'bad' pain for sure.

It is a good idea not to transfer from anal to vagina so use a condom (even in a monogomous relationship) or just WASH thoroughly between, or use anal last. This (using anal last) actually makes sense as the anus is usually tighter and provides better stimulation for the giver on 2nd or subsequent go. Also, if you use anal only when the recipient is STIMULATED then it is much more likely to be both comfortable and wonderful.

Also, a floppier penis is easier to take -- IF you can get it in (which you usually can with patience -- again this helps you even by forcing you to go slow.)

Get excited first. Use lubricant. Go as slow as you must. Take you time and ENJOY.

As to AIDS (etc), there are more likely to be some micro-tears or abrasions (these aren't even noticed usually), especially if it's painful, so transmission LIKELIHOOD is somewhat up IF there is disease present (usually from the giver to the recipient) so the same caution applies as with any noticeable lesion (herpes etc)

Know your partner, get tested, use a condom if that CAN be any doubt (not just if you HAVE a doubt, but it a doubt is POSSIBLE).

Generally, healthy, supportive people are going to have fun. If you aren't having fun, stop, read a sex manual or something and try again even more carefully another time.

If things are slippery enough and the channel is excited enough you can really pound on it without worry.
.

sebastian · May 15, 2010

Ok, a few basics. Anal sex will be uncomfortable the first time or so that you do it, because your anus is surprised that something in going in the out door. Once it get used to the idea of letting things in, that discomfort goes away, so after you've had anal sex a few times, most of the discomfort goes away.

However, because the anus is designed to keep things in until you push them out, it always resists the initial attempt to insert something. Typically, after a minute of gentle pressure, it will begin to tire and then readily admit a cock, toy, finger, etc. So always go slow in that first minute or so. Just give the anus time to adjust, and it will eventually relax. Until it relaxes, entry will be painful; once it has relaxed, entry will not be painful if it is done properly. After it relaxes, any real pain is a sign that something is wrong. So after that initial discomfort, pain is a sign that you need to pull out, relax, and try again.

If you are using a condom, always use a water- or silicone-based lube. Oil based lubes will damage the latex and make it prone to break. If you are not using a condom (barebacking), oil-based lubes are just as acceptable as others.

Transmission of AIDS is primarily top to bottom; tops can contract AIDS from a bottom, but it is less common (it basically requires cuts on the penis or in the urethra). Using a latex condom very greatly reduces this risk , although if the condom breaks transmission is possible. Sheepskin condoms do not stop AIDS transmission. If either participant has open cuts or sores, transmission becomes more likely. Obviously, if neither participant is positive, no risk of transmission exists. Anal sex does not cause AIDS. Fundamentalist claims that condoms are not safe are essentially lies; condoms are enormously effective at preventing AIDS as long as they are used properly.

There is a small risk of other sorts of infection via anal sex, but the same sorts of risks exist with vaginal sex.

Rectal prolapse is an extremely uncommon phenomenon in healthy adults. It mostly occurs in the elderly, those suffering severe constipation, and those who play with improvised toys that create a vacuum (such as a bottle) which can pull part of the rectum out. Anal sex does not cause rectal prolapse; if you are afraid of it, just use sufficient lube.

Look at it this way: if anal sex were so amazingly risky, why would gay men do it so freely? Contrary to popular images of gay men, we are not sex-obsessed maniacs. We are capable of rational thought around sex, and very few gay men encounter serious problems from anal sex. Rates of AIDS transmission have risen among gay men, but that's because barebacking is becoming more common, not because anal sex is inherently risky.

MasterInTraining · May 16, 2010

maso_missive said:
T_T When I tried it, it just hurt too much Maybe I'll try it again someday... some day far and long away...

No lube and no foreplay?

handcuff_freak · May 16, 2010

I love anal. Only done it a few times though.

Anal makes my hole smile

Ghost · May 19, 2010

I was just viewing a video interview with one of the "Queens of Anal Porn", Aurora Snow, and even she has a WARM-UP toy that is fairly small. You probably won't ever see her warm-up toy on camera, but the point is that even someone known for this type of sex doesn't (usually) just jump right in.

Lube, patience, tenderness.

Ms.sub13 · May 20, 2010

It always hurts me. I have tried training and plugs. It hurts but i get really aroused. Is there a certain type of lube that is good? My master found this anal numbing lube to help relax the muscles but I think we need a better lube. Suggestions please. thank you. Also I find it a bit humiliating. Does anyone else? It freaks me out to think about my master trying to get me to relax. I can only relax when I am the only on in the room. I think it is more mental. I tense up more when he tries to relax me. Does anyone else encounter the problem of tensing up more when you are suppose to be relaxing?

Anal sex- Why??

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