Why is BDSM oddly romantic?

[missmasochist]

I'm not saying it always is, but it does more than vanilla sex I'd say. I would also say it's a romantics type of sex.
What do you think?

 

[Smallest]

Probably because both partners have to know each other incredibly well and have a level of respect that is necessary and strong (which can exist in vanilla sex, but being less needed is less likely).

 

[Shepherd1]

I find it the ultimate in romance. Simply because you have to know your partner thoroughly. At least I do. I'm very capable of reading body language and breathing. And of course there's the aftercare. With vanilla sex you get (what's basically known as) cuddling. To me there's a HUGE difference. I find that aftercare is much more involved and personal. My sub knows and believes in the depth that I care for her. Cuddling is just a post coidel action with no real value (to me or my sub); whereas aftercare draws us closer and solidifies how much I care for my sub. I tend to perform aftercare even after punishments. I have found it very helpful.

 

[Shepherd1]

I would also like to add that being able to share something so personal with someone is not only erotic, but romantic. As I'm sure most all of us have felt some sort of repression from choosing this lifestyle. I know I have. And it's opened doors for me to explore myself deeper which brings out the freedom to BE who I actually am. That makes me want to share every aspect of my persona with my sub. And I will say that being romantic right before I discipline her is a major turn-on for both of us.