What turned you onto BDSM?

[Nyx]

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I don't remember precisely when I got interested in BDSM. I don't think I knew what it was called when I started craving stories that had bits about spanking or slapping or being tied up.
Also, I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I crave the loss of control. My entire life I have had to be in control of my emotions and my actions. I want the freedom to squirm with pain, and to have my actions decided by someone else. Someone I trust.

Most of my fantasies and interests stayed in my head and in my illicit stories until I met my first top, who was strictly online. He was my introduction... but truthfully I wanted more. I wanted to have that physical presence there with me.

And a month ago I met my current top.

Bondage is for me, like the previous poster mentioned, therapuetic. Even if I'm lying on the floor in handcuffs or bent over the bed while he snaps his belt, I'm strangely at ease. All I have to do is obey. Of course, I still struggle with it, but he is quick to correct my flaws.

 

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[Sparrow69]

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I had a lot of medical issues growing up, and i was taught to compartmentalize the pain and enter sub-space. this fascinated me. Later on, i was dating a girl whom i cared deeply for, and she was very abusive, not only sexually, but mentally, and neither in a good way. I can say that by me using what i had learned earlier, and pleasuring the pain, she did do one thing for me, she taught me a lot, and didn't even know it. I eventually, with the help of friends, left her, and became a much stronger and independent me.
I went to school got several degrees, and focused my attention on finding out more on how one could use the body to overcome great torment, and that folks, is the crescendo, and its all downhill from there...
I am a sadist, I'm twisted, but all in the name of science. I love to inflict pain, but love it even more when you enjoy it, and i log meticulously. Don't let it fool you though, I'm a very loving and compassionate soul and while I often enjoy pleasured screams of pain, I love the sensual soft moans of connecting with someone more deeply then anyone could imagine.

 

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[Sashalust]

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Growing up I was always shy, not like conflict or causing trouble, as I got older I got tired of people pushing me around and telling me what to do so I became more assertive and more aggressive as well as more manipulative. When I became sexually active for my very first time I was 18 and there was bondage and a bit of rough play involved and I loved every moment of it. I stayed with that man and married him and we enjoy a Dom/sub relationship with each other switching from time to time for the other, yet when I think of myself with anyone else I am always on top and force ably taking what I want. I have a natural leadership quality that makes people listen to me without much effort on my part, though when I have to get mean I do and people are quick to do as I say. My husband says that he knew I had this aggressive nature in me which is what attracted him to me, made him want to bring it out of me in a sexual manner.

 

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[PuppyPuppyPuppy]

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I had fantasies when I was in grade school that I didn't realize were BDSM until I was older.

More recently there was a man I was interested in that told me he had once been someone's slave. I had a really sexy dream where he was my Master and I told him about it. He spanked me, jokingly he says, and I responded to it. We both liked the experience but we didn't talk about it and it didn't go any further than that. A few days later he asked me to be his slave and I agreed. Now I am a collared and very happy slave.

 

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[PuppyPuppyPuppy]

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But I also heard that a history of being sexually abused makes you susceptible to BDSM involvement; how much if true about that?

There is too much truth in the statement. If you care to PM me I can talk more about it, but I know I'm not the only one that has experienced it.

 

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[Leilani]

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I don't think it's something I can pinpoint. I've always held a deep fascination for elements of BDSM, even while I was a little girl, and tended to incorporate subtle D/s power play and occasional punishment into my games with dolls, imaginary friends and the like. I also remember being taken with quite how crimson the blood would be whenever I accidentally fell or otherwise hurt myself and it oozed out of the wound, and found it fascinating to observe and read about others engaging in power play, pain and humiliation.

What I felt during all of that time is hard to describe, because it certainly wasn't pleasure, at least not of a straightforward kind, but it did jolt a surge of adrenaline. I think the best comparison I've come across relating to my earliest interest in BDSM is the example of someone driving past a gruesome car accident and having their attention "attracted" by it, even though the emotion itself is not really "attraction," but a strange mixture of curiosity, awe and horror. This paints BDSM in a very unflattering light, but I hope everyone will understand that the type of feeling I mean doesn't reflect the nature of the practice itself as much as it does how a child is drawn towards concepts he or she does not yet understand or know how to react to, aside from being aware of an instinctive feeling that something crucial and currently taboo is at play, and that one day, the appropriate feelings will develop to interpret it. It is how most young children feel about sex - horrified and repelled, yet at the same time strangely attracted to this confusing forbidden concept that they hope to gain an appropriate insight into someday.

As I entered puberty, all of my awe with BDSM gained an additional, sexually explicit context, although it took me quite some time to accept it as something positive instead of the "unnatural" and "shameful" activity is was usually interpreted as in my old-fashioned community, and indeed by me personally, which I think was a result of having spent a large portion of my childhood growing up in an often physically and occasionally sexually abusive environment and interpreting my desire for physically reminiscent activities as me growing up to be just as "sick" and "perverted." In time, however, I matured and realised that, if anything, the opposite was the case in my fascination with BDSM, but this is venturing dangerously into too psychologically intimate a territory, so I'll end the post right here.

 

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[Flingress]

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bdsm attracted my attention because it was the closest thing to what gave me the sweetest sensations in my whole life.
and by this i don't mean just sex. in fact all kinds of genital contact is much less pleasurable and valuable for me.
i generally suffer a kind of hormonal composition which renders me more easily turned off than on. i especially hate humiliation because it turns me right off. i prefer to feel like a hero instead, but i must admit i've certainly got masochistic tendencies. i need to talk about them and explore them.

i like being watched while trying to endure sudden blows in the stomach, or on the sides. being threatened with blades over my throat or ribs makes me tremble with pleasure. i can even climax with the heroic feeling of being able to endure what an average person could not. i can welcome a little blood, welts or scratch marks, but on the torso or arms and not on genitals.

i get some warm feeling seeping inside my ribs when someone pins me on the wall. can you believe the extent of pleasure one can derive from such a simple act of violence? well i do. especially if that pinning action is followed by a few punches in the solar plexus. my tormentor and maybe a few more people as an audience should be watching me trying to survive those blows. arrgh. even writing about it makes my insides crawl.

well these are parts of what i've discovered about myself so far. what i especially wonder is am i totally alone on this world about these, or are there people who experience these not-very-necessarily-sexual sensations that shake my very foundations?

 

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[Ms.sub13]

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"But I also heard that a history of being sexually abused makes you susceptible to BDSM involvement; how much if true about that?[/QUOTE]


I think there is truth in that statement. I dreamed about being dominated when I was young and read stories that contained a man dominating a woman and rape. If they were true stories I found myself aroused. When I was 14 I lost my virginity to rape. After that "normal" sex never aroused or pleased me. I always wanted a male to dominate me. If you want to know more Private Message me.

 

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[Flingress]

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ooppsss... that quote doesn't belong to me ???

Ms.sub13... i've sent you a pm.... i thought you were addressing me but now i guess you weren't.... newbie's mistake. soorrryyy.

 

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[RRR1609]

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On my 16th birthday, my boyfriend gave me a birthday spanking. It seems silly now, but I had never been turned on like that before. It was the first time I had ever been the least bit dominated by a man, and I loved it. My obsession just kept growing, and now I am happily in a BDSM relatiobship!!!

 

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