Well that was a surprise...:D

[sebastian]

Talk, talk, talk! I'm really serious. You need to have regular communication for BDSM to work well, especially in the early stages where you're still learning each other's preferences. What little academic study has been done of BDSM couples find that they have a higher relationship satisfaction than vanilla couples, in large part because there is so much communication and negotiation taking place.

 

[subarama30]

Well I wrote it all down and told him I was writing something for him to look at but then I chickened out and wouldn't let him look at the last minute.

He knows something is wrong, says I've been distant and gone from being needy to cold with him.

Shit, this is messed up Going to try to let him look tonight maybe.

 

[sebastian]

What are you afraid of? You've opened up a little, and he was pretty receptive to it. So trust that he's willing to explore with you, and just start telling him what you're feeling. Read through the FAQ for some ideas of things you need to think about in these conversations.

 

[sillylittlepet]

yeah seriously, the worst he can say is "we're moving too fast"