PrettyInInk
New Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Hi again all you awesome advice givers I think I need a little advice from experienced subs and maybe just a little place to think some things through/whine. I had no idea how much thought and brain power was going to go into unlocking such a fantastic and fun part of my life. My brain is tired!
So, I always always knew that I was submissive, and I knew that I had some pretty unusual fantasies, but I didn't realize how far my submission went until I met someone truly dominant, but there are some snags I'm hitting.
First is that, I'm totally in a frenzy and can't think about anything else. I feel, sometimes, like my brain is pretty useless for anything else, which is not great because I have a pretty demanding job. I'm sure this will pass, but I'm so impatient and just want more, more, more... But, I'm trying not to be a bratty, demanding little sub, which is compounded by the problem that he lives hours from here, and I can only see him every few weeks for a night... It makes me very sad
Second is that I'm definitely a center of attention sub, who's trying really hard not to be. The man I've met is... perfect. 100% effing perfect for me in bed and out, save one thing: I need some sort of relationship-y-feeling type thing, and he really, really doesn't. He's been fairly up front for the last 2 months about it (we've been doing this 5 months or so), and I know where he stands (sort of), so I know that I can either choose to bow out or deal with the fact that I won't be his only sub... And mostly, I'm ok with it (especially when he tells me I'm his favourite. Haha), but it's not always easy because I have feelings for him for sure-- but isn't that kind of inherent if we're getting into a Master/slave thing?
I'm rambling because I can't even think straight about this anymore. I guess my question is this-- has anyone ever dealt with this before, and how? I just don't think about it usually, and when I do I just tell myself that it makes him happy to have other women & no commitment, so that makes me feel good that I can be a part of that happiness. I'm trying to condition myself, I guess, and it's kind of working-- except when I think about the future because it makes me wonder if there is a person out there who is what I dream of, and if so how the heck a shy girl like me finds her master in such a big fricken world
I'm not sure I'm making sense, but maybe someone can find some... Or ask the right questions so I can start to! haha
So, I always always knew that I was submissive, and I knew that I had some pretty unusual fantasies, but I didn't realize how far my submission went until I met someone truly dominant, but there are some snags I'm hitting.
First is that, I'm totally in a frenzy and can't think about anything else. I feel, sometimes, like my brain is pretty useless for anything else, which is not great because I have a pretty demanding job. I'm sure this will pass, but I'm so impatient and just want more, more, more... But, I'm trying not to be a bratty, demanding little sub, which is compounded by the problem that he lives hours from here, and I can only see him every few weeks for a night... It makes me very sad
Second is that I'm definitely a center of attention sub, who's trying really hard not to be. The man I've met is... perfect. 100% effing perfect for me in bed and out, save one thing: I need some sort of relationship-y-feeling type thing, and he really, really doesn't. He's been fairly up front for the last 2 months about it (we've been doing this 5 months or so), and I know where he stands (sort of), so I know that I can either choose to bow out or deal with the fact that I won't be his only sub... And mostly, I'm ok with it (especially when he tells me I'm his favourite. Haha), but it's not always easy because I have feelings for him for sure-- but isn't that kind of inherent if we're getting into a Master/slave thing?
I'm rambling because I can't even think straight about this anymore. I guess my question is this-- has anyone ever dealt with this before, and how? I just don't think about it usually, and when I do I just tell myself that it makes him happy to have other women & no commitment, so that makes me feel good that I can be a part of that happiness. I'm trying to condition myself, I guess, and it's kind of working-- except when I think about the future because it makes me wonder if there is a person out there who is what I dream of, and if so how the heck a shy girl like me finds her master in such a big fricken world
I'm not sure I'm making sense, but maybe someone can find some... Or ask the right questions so I can start to! haha
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