So, I probably won't be of any help (I totally had to Google sub drop right now), but I would just like to say, speaking for myself and most likely most people on this forum, that you don't have to worry about burdening us. In the things that I've posted, you were always very helpful... And TBH, I'm more than happy helping people "deal with their problems."
I can't speak for the BDSM part of this, but in a relationship, you can ask for anything you want to. You can't expect that person to give it to you, but you can ask. (With the exception of changing the way that person feels- it's not fair to ask for stuff like that.) So, if I were you, here's what I would do.
First of all, you need to calm down and get yourself under control. (I've had a LOT of experience with this, so this is something I CAN give good advice on, and I will later in this post.) Then, you should sit down and think about EXACTLY what you want. And I mean EXACTLY. If you want him to show compassion concern and caring after a session, for example, you need to think about HOW that looks and what EXACTLY he would do. For me, that would mean holding me, caressing my hair and telling me how much said person loved me. If you're going to tell him you need something, the worst thing to do is to not know exactly what you need... And just to warn you, he might not *want* to cuddle with you, but you cannot ask him to want to do that. You can ask him to do it a certain way or to hide his discontentment with it, but you can't ask him to want to do it.
To deal with your feelings, you first need to calm down for a moment. I'm guessing you are (or were) experiencing some anxiety. I know it's cliche, but deep breathing works. There's actually a science to it, but I can't really remember how my counselor said it worked. Just believe me- it works. Then relax your muscles and adjust your posture. Broaden your shoulders and open up your chest. Also, things like drinking chamomile, taking a relaxing bath, meditation, tensing/relaxing you muscles one by one, exercising, etc. (I don't advise "getting out your anger" on a pillow or whatever for various reasons, but if it makes you feel better, go ahead.) Just get yourself overall calm. Then you are ready to do some critical thinking and healthy self talk. To deal with your feelings, you really have to embrace them. It might help to write them down... But just realize that they are not permanent. (I've permanized some of my feelings via keeping them in a journal, so I just thought I'd warn you.) Then talk to yourself about why you are feeling this way. If you are feeling any extreme emotions that you realize are irrational (I believe you were, since you mentioned that ATM you were not rational), do some healthy self talk. (If you do not know what this is, Google it- it's also called "positive self talk.")
And when I can't get ahold of my BF and I'm freaking out about something and feel like I'm going over the edge, I just try to forget about him and basically pretend he's gone and it doesn't matter. I know this probably is extremely unhealthy, but I suffer from major insecurity issues to the point where I used to get panic attacks when he wouldn't answer the phone or stayed late at work- I'm better now but it still happens. IDK why, but doing that has always helped me get through it and I've prevented myself from doing some pretty stupid stuff that way.
So that's really all I got... I hope it helps. Feel free to message me! Doubt I'll do much good, but I'm always up for listening and *attempting* to help