Should i tell her this?

krow1125 · Jan 7, 2011

Lately, my girlfriend and I have been showing each other new fetishes that we have. I told her about how i like to be dominated, she told me about her rape fantasies, we both said we enjoy pain. But when i told her about my fantasy of being pegged, she got kinda...i don't want to say freaked out but she didn't like the idea and acted differently for a little bit.

Ever since then, I haven't been sure what I should tell her or not and there is a kinda big fetish i haven't told her and i'm not sure if i should tell her or not. I like to wear panties at night when i'm alone. I want to tell her cause i want to be open with her but at the same time, i don't want to scare her away with this fetish of mine.

What should i do, i'm torn between telling her or not?

uniongirl · Jan 7, 2011

Maybe you should talk to her about the fetish she reacted poorly too. Discuss why she reacted the way she did. Talk about how fetishes don't necessarily need to be acted on, certainly not all at once. If you can clear the air about her reaction and talk about how you want to communicate together about fantasies in the future, you might come to a place where you are more comfortable sharing with her again.

sebastian · Jan 7, 2011

Remind her of what Dan Savage calls the Karmic Law of Kink: Dump the honest foot fetishist and you'll wind up with the dishonest necrophiliac.

Your gf is really to blame here, IMO. She agreed to an open discussion of fetishes, and told you her dark secret, which you handled with understanding (I presume), and then she refused to extend the same courtesy to you when she heard something that made her a little uncomfortable. So I think you need to call her on the carpet. I think you need to explain to her that she has the same obligation to handle your kinks maturely as you have to handle hers. She doesn't have to indulge you in your kink if it creeps her out, but she has to be willing to extend you the same courtesy that you extend her. Explain to her that her refusal to listen to your kinks is hurting the relationship; after all, you don't know how much you can trust her and tell her. If she doesn't want to play by a consistent set of rules, you need to have a much more serious conversation about whether you two are compatible.

Infinia · Jan 7, 2011

You can try and hide all you want but in the end your true self always pops up weird kinks and all.

So yeah its probably better to talk to her now and talk it out good. Wearing panties to bed or otherwise would get noticed at some point and if you don't know why she's weirded out you'll never get back to a good relationship you had

master jey · Jan 7, 2011

wearing panties at night isn't really a fetish some people just wear them cuz panties are comfortable

I don't really understand why pantie wearing man is weird if women can wear mens stuff why can't man wear womens stuff

krow1125 · Jan 7, 2011

I've always seen wearing panties as a fetish and we usually just talk about our fantasies and fetishes. The only ones we have done are he pain ones and the femdom. We've also tried to talk about what she doesn't like about pegging last night but it's hard when I'm in Florida and she's back in Ohio. Thanks for the advice

Infinia · Jan 8, 2011

I get what your saying guys undies are very scratchy. had to wear em on a camping trip once and i don't get why guys wear the crap in the first place.
i so prefer silk feel against my body.
as for guys not wearing girls clothes kinda your own fault as a gender. Woman can wear guys clothes but only depending on body type if it doesnt show of our figuere were regarded as butch or ugly. So most male clothes are cut different to suit the female figuere when worn by women.

Men as a gender culture seem to be scared to death of being thought of as gay or feminine in the slightest, hence they avoid anything that can be related to that. you can easyly make a skirt look like shorts which is more comfy for both genders but men being to fearfull of the look wouldnt wear it. that is mostly why transvestites or crossdressers are considerd a fetish pretty much exclusivly for men. if i wanted to wear jeans and a shirt i do nobody cares that its typical male atire. vice versa is culturally unacceptable for fear of the dreaded gay stigma.

Personally i think since nobody can see underwear guys should just wear panties way more comfy and feels so much nicer on your skin looks better to.

krow1125 · Jan 10, 2011

Well so you all know, I decided to tell her and she didn't act bad about it or freak out. She said she was okay with it but didn't have any other thoughts about it besides she kinda wants to see me in a pair this weekend.

I also found out why she reacted the way she did when i brought up pegging, she had bad experiences with ass in the past and it goes back to when she was a kid.

Nuka · Jan 12, 2011

Well at least she wants indulge this kink of yours. She may evne get a rise out of it.

I had one that was blood and bite related, I love the feeling of being bitten till I bleed. Well I told my sub and she didn't seem to keen on it... more scared she could hurt me. But now she's done it the once or twice it's a turn on for her.

The ass one you have to understand though but you should tell her to be more comfortable and open with you. Afterall honesty and comfort is the heart of a good relationship.

Should i tell her this?

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