Relationships

Luna · Jan 2, 2011

My lover and I started as friends. Close friends we talked about everything, nothing was off limits, so when this came up and he told me what he really wanted it made it easier for me to confess my desires. We agreed that we could provide each other a safe way to explore. Our first 'date' which was our first meeting face to face ended in my dominating him and violating his ass. Second date was even better ...

Nuka · Jan 11, 2011

I had some experience (not really BDSM but more light kink) with previous partners and when I met ashlie, she was, well I'm her only partner. So we developed into kinkier things as we went on and now we're a 24/7 D/s couple, engaged, etc.

We started developing from vanilla, taking on using a whip and a crop, cufffs, etc but we sat down and talked together about turning it into 24/7 and so far it's worked.

I agree with Luna, you have to communicate throughout. Even now I'll ask if everything is ok, if she still wants to carry on with it etc.

In fact I think W/we found this site partly to help us, and also to hepl us explore further with ideas and things to do.

RS1981 · Jan 12, 2011

I started out as vanilla before I finally realized I was dominant. It wasn't until my early 20's though that I felt confident enough to pursue it, because of the way I was raised. I used to think the lifestyle was wrong and demeaning. And in reality it can be, but only with the consent of both people. But if you really think about it, if both parties are consenting to it, how can it truly be demeaning? Anyway, before I get off track... I had a few girlfriends I wanted to try BDSM with and they went along with it for a while but eventually got tired of it, they got no pleasure out of being the source of my own. My current pet is trying it with me and so far she seems MUCH more willing to serve me. I hope it continues because it has always been my biggest fantasy.

Demotep · Jan 14, 2011

Tie-guy said:
Since beginning a relationship with a new partner, I don't know how to be open about a deep part of my sexuality. I've never started "the" conversation, it's always been my partner that asks me. It's that first instance I have trouble opening it up, I open up slowly naturally, but scratching the surface is harder for me.

Do you open up spontaneously a la "Can we try x tonight?" or during a particular time a la before/after sex?

I am exactly like this. I open up slowly, especially when it comes to this. It just seems to me that desires like this just aren't that widely accepted and I fear weirding a girl out and push them away. That is not to say it doesn't come out eventually, it just takes a while and I have yet to truly reveal how far I am willing to and wanting to go.

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