MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Why is it that straights can recruit and gays can't? It's not fair.
Well, maybe I wasn't very clear. I'm just saying that in straight relationships there such a long history of men abusing their wives and girlfriends that it casts an amazingly long shadow over d/s play. I just can't understand how a dom man could, for example, tie up his wife and subject her to erotic torture, without that shadow putting in an appearance. I realize that dom men are perfectly capable of respecting their submissive women, but instinctively, I don't see how it doesn't start to edge over into something more abusive.
Between two guys, there isn't that shadow of domestic abuse (not to say that domestic abuse doesn't happen in gay relationships--it does, but it doesn't cast such a long shadow). When I 'abuse' a boy (by which I mean a submissive man, not literally a boy), I luxuriate in his toughness, the ability of his masculine body to endure what I'm dishing out. I encourage him to bear up as long as he can. So it becomes a celebration of male strength, I suppose.
Also, there's a long tradition of men exploring dominance in non-abusive ways. For example, I just got back from International Mr Leather in Chicago, the biggest gay kink convention there is. Last night, out in the lobby, I watched these two guys engaging in horseplay. One was in his early 40s, short, ripped body, very masculine looking; the other was in his mid-20s, some less defined but still beefy, and nearly a head taller. The larger guy was rough-housing with the smaller guy, punching him, wrestling with him, putting him in a headlock, and stuff like that. It was typical male horseplay, except that in this context, he was clearly establishing his dominance over the other guy, who was obviously his boy, at least at the moment. If the older guy had been a woman instead of a man, it would have looked like domestic violence, but as it was, it was literally beautiful to watch--two men reveling in their bodies, their strength, and the dominance game that was happening between them. There was nothing overtly sexual about it, but it was quite arousing to watch.
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