Psych Torture

bluelagoon1988 · Aug 22, 2009

OLP I am so jealous, that sounds intoxicating. I am very private about my sexual life but I still get excited at the thought of my Sir being so proud that he wants to share. He isn't too keen on this but I am hoping with time he will come around to the idea.

On the previous topic, i am a firm believer that being 'given permission' so to speak is such a release for me, its like i am doing it through my Sir, he wont let harm come to me and I am safe so I am able to set aside my own personal reservations in a sense to do His bidding

Obedient Little Puppy · Aug 22, 2009

Well, I'm just really pissed off with myself for reacting badly and wimping out

bluelagoon1988 · Aug 22, 2009

one thing i have learned to embrace is that good or bad, a reaction is better than being numb, you can turn a bad feeling into a good one, or a good one into a better one, you cant do much if you feel nothing. don't be so hard on yourself OLP, i think i can speak for most of the people in this lifestyle, pardon me if i misspeak, but this is all about the journey and not so much about the end result. the fact that you allowed yourself to become aroused by something you fear is powerful for you, and for MoP, which would be why you are worth that effort. dont beat yourself up about it

Master of puppies · Aug 23, 2009

OLP says that I'm good at acting, with our various characters, so I thought I would put this skill to good use, walking quietly around the car and making noises and talking. I can give my absolute word that no-one else was involved there that night. For the record, I thought she held her nerve remarkably well, I am extremely proud of her.

PuppyPuppyPuppy · Aug 24, 2009

When my Master first collared me I was terrified by belts because I had been beaten with them when I was a child. He has worked with me slowly since then and now the belt is my favorite thing for him to use on me. As long as you work with her slowly (or whatever pace she can handle), I think that working with her fears could eventually bring the two of you closer together. Remember, you are the Master, you can test her limits but don't push her too far or you could cause lasting damage.

PuppyPuppy

bluelagoon1988 · Aug 24, 2009

I couldn't have said it better myself, I was doing a checklist tonight for my Sir and thinking about all my hard limts, soft limits, fetishes, etc. There are damn few things that I wouldn't do under the right circumstances and with patience and a firm but gentle hand.

J zero · Aug 24, 2009

The replies here have really inspired me, OLP you once again exceeded expectations, hearing you talk about your expirience really turned me on. you did so well, facing your fears like that. even though at the end you broke down, you really pushed yourself beyond your previous limits. you and your master are even closer now because of that.

Although this thread was originally about the "torture" aspect of working with one's fears, i am also very happy to hear about all the positive ways that this has been incorporated. well done everyone, and i continue to wish you well on your journey to enlightenment.

Master of puppies · Aug 24, 2009

I have seen a noticeable improvement in OLP since her training, in many forms. Certain things, [not just games and bdsm] and doubts, she has now overcome.
I decided that training would be long term, and slow, with not too many new things at once, this seemed to be the best way, and she has proved me right.
I can't tell you how good it feels when she overcomes something, or takes just a little more pain, I feel so proud.

Hey Puppy 3 . . . Good to see you again, we were wondering where you were.

Sub4Life · Aug 24, 2009

My Master once told me that he had invited a bunch of his friends over to play with me. I am shy and don't like the ideas of being with more than one partner, and He always tells me that as long as I am good and he is happy with me he wont share me.

He also says that he loves me to much to let any other man touch what belongs to him. I had snapped at him and full out refused sex. (I am not allowed to do this, but if I say absolutley no he wont force me. He says raping someone is the absense of control because you dont have them mentally.)

So he told me to losen me up he was going to let all his friends have me. I was terrified, not only of being used my a bunch of strangers but of the fact that if he was allowing this than he either lost interest, didnt love me, or didnt want me anymore, and I was ablutley desperate to get back into his good graces. I begged at his feet, cried, pleaded, kissed his feet, crawled on the floor behind him, but he refused to budge. When the doorbell rang I was in tears and shaking, and he told me to answser the door, and told me it was his friends.

After a few harsh words from him I walked over to the door, crying and shaking and opened it. And It was the Goddam Pizza guy! He never called his friends and just did it as a punishment. After he paid he cuddled me on his lap while I cried. (rush of emotion and sheer releif.)
>.<

He still laughs about it... I didnt find it funny, and I had nightmares for a few weeks but I have not refused him since...

bluelagoon1988 · Aug 24, 2009

great story Sub4Life! sounds like it worked well.

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