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- I fear that my family will find out about me being into bdsm and being a DL and disowning me.

- my brother owns a forum site, but I don't post there much. Its about a certain type of car, the type that I own now, but I don't want to post something that makes me look dumb since I don't know much about cars.

- my favorite animal is a penguin. I have many stuffed penguins. They make me feel like a kid again. I even sleep with one sometimes.

- my favorite band is Twiztid. Their lyrics are almost exactly what I would write about.
 
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thank you all for the well wishes,and ceilidh i do the same thing.... at least i have a fabulous collection of hats ill have a reason to wear now.

this will be the 10th recurrence and is something i have struggled with since i was 2. I know the drill by now. at the very least, ill still be on here, and ill keep you all updated as time goes on. Thanks again, to all of you.

You have cancer...? Damn.... :l sorry to hear that.
 
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I hate my father. He's pretty much never showed any sort of respect for me, thinks my head is littered with stupidity and has never even tried to understand some things with me that shouldn't be so damn hard to understand... he just doesn't seem to want to. The worst with him is that he isn't always an asshole... sometimes he can be very kind, but I think it may just be because he feels guilty. It'd be easier if he was just an all-around horrible person so I could just always feel I hate him. I can't remember that he's ever said he loves me, and I have never told it to him, either... I remember once, when he had been having a go at me, right before Christmas Eve... my sister came to me, afterwards, and tried to make things better between us, again... "Can't you just tell him you love him? I don't want you to fight." "No, I can't." "Why not...?", asking me since she knew I didn't hate him then, at least. "...I just can't." ...Father or not, I could never lie about such a thing... because I have never loved him. He's been very kind, at times, but overall, he has treated me like I am nothing. The day he dies, I can't see that I'd be able to cry... and I kind of am more concerned that he'll become a ghost and start stalking me after death.
 
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Jey: I don't know him at all, so I don't know if he is a dream daddy. I wish I did though. I only had one person I trusted enough to talk about bdsm with. now that's ruined. I probably wouldn't trust anyone with that knowledge again.

SLP: Its crazy how adorable they are. I can't get enough of penguin things, but stuffed animals are my favorite. They are more comforting to hold when I'm feeling down.
 
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