New sub needs help.

Status
Not open for further replies.
Free LIFE TIME TezFiles PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME TezFiles PRO Account

sirbrisgirlshel

New Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

It seems to me that "see if the rules I come up with will please him" smells like "recipe to fail." My man does not expect me to be a mindreader and I don't think it's fair to ask that. In addition, the whole point of "rules" is Him giving you boundaries. You choosing your own boundaries seems to be sort of off the mark. Yes, sometimes things will need to be discussed and negotiated but this just seems to be a strange task, IMO.

All that being said... if he is your husband, you probably already know what turns him on and what makes him happy so why would coming up with general guidelines be a difficult task? No one else has to live your life so asking for someone else's set of rules is sort of like asking "what should I read?" People can tell you what they like but ultimately it's what you and your husband like that matters.
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME TezFiles PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME TezFiles PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME TezFiles PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME TezFiles PRO Account

bigsmiley

New Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Wow you really like slamming newbies here, no wonder people look down on BDSM. Wouldn't it be nice if someone with questions could come to helping community and get good sound advice and not be looked down upon and criticized. When you were just starting out in the BDSM lifestyle, did you already know exactly how things worked? Were you not unsure of yourself and confused by the feelings you were having?
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME TezFiles PRO Account

Stargazer

Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

What surprisies me the most is people who come here asking what they should do and how they ought to feel about something...

Who are we to say what people should do? They need to discover for themselves what their boundaries are. Learn from their partner what each is comfortable with.

A few months back, I said to my wife I'd like to try being whipped. She was unsure about it having never done it befire and I was a little unsure for the same reason. I didn;t come on here and ask where my pain threshold was, where my boundaries are or what parts of me I hould try having whipped.

Instead, My wife and I, started slow and gentle and worked up in intensity to see where each of us were comfortable. All the time, giving each other feedback on what we were feeling so we knew how best to move on.

It's this simple little concept of 'it's your life and your feeling, you should decide what you like' that so many people don't seem to grasp.

BDSM is a minority lifestyle and the minorities have always been the 'black-sheep' in the world that are considered weirdo's or undesirables. It's got nothing to do with the attitudes on web-forums. That doesn't mean we can say and do whatever the hell we want on these message boards, but it doesn't mean we should also set other peoples goals for them in something they and only they can determine for themselves.
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME TezFiles PRO Account

InnocentLooks

New Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Wow you really like slamming newbies here, no wonder people look down on BDSM. Wouldn't it be nice if someone with questions could come to helping community and get good sound advice and not be looked down upon and criticized. When you were just starting out in the BDSM lifestyle, did you already know exactly how things worked? Were you not unsure of yourself and confused by the feelings you were having?

Uh, they'd already gotten angry and left. I didn't think there was anything wrong with their question, I was just pointing out how they rudely leave when they don't hear exactly what they want. And that it was a pattern. That's what the problem was, the original question was legit, and I try to help answer them when I can. I slammed one "newbie", ever, and I just re-iterated what they had said about themselves. It wasn't even really meant to be a 'slam'. Everyone has a right to ask questions, no one has a right to throw a fit and leave when the answers aren't exactly what they want to hear. You obviously aren't very clever though, so I will try not to blame you for your idiot mistakes. Oh, and PS, that was a slam.
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top