it seems to be harder and harder to locate a playmate for online or real life play. ive been into the scene for 10 years now and it just seems that fewer people are willing to contact others or very reserved in doing so. has anyone else noticed this?
No. My experience is quite the opposite. I'm routinely bombarded by requests to play. I'm a gay man, and BDSM is somewhat more acceptable in my community, but overall I get more offers than I can or want to accommodate.
can't see why anyone would turn you down (yep, i know, tastes differ, but still).