Is nude pictures essential in D/S Relationships?

[sarah555]

Tezfiles Premium Max Account

I can tell you why he wants them, men are extremely visual creatures. We need to see it. It's hard for the male mind to visualize things and we like pictures . He wants them so he can think and fantasize about you when you're not around. AND, as a dominant, he wants you to give in on this point so he can have the confidence and control he had before you took it away from him by refusing to do something you had never mentioned was a hard limit. Again, I'm not saying you are wrong but I'd be willing to bet that's how he sees this entire issue.

Yes, his reason for wanting my nude pictures is so he can masturbate to it when I'm not around, and it turns him on. He always have a way of putting things, like..., "You think if nude pictures brings me pleasure, it's not essential in this relationship?"

 

FileBoom Premium Account

Keep2Share Premium Account

[sarah555]

Tezfiles Premium Max Account

I also wasn't siding with the Dom, I would never handle that situation in that manner. If it were me, and she refused to do something, as soon I saw that it was a limit for her I would have offered an alternative task, probably one that involved discipline, and made a mental note to discuss this with her in detail outside the scene. Maybe he's not a very expereinced Dom, in the same way that she has no experience as a sub.

Originally, he agreed to no nude pictures. But he said I'm gonna have to make up for it by being extra obedient to everything else. But after he agreed, that's when, things just change, he was just not happy agreeing. The other thing is, he has this obsession to make me do things that I've never allowed my husband to do, and nude pictures was one of them. I do agree with you, it's now a pride thing, doms being doms have high pride, I tried to compromise on no head shots and no nude shots, but he won't accept it. He said I either give myself completely to him freely or not at all. He had 24/7 master and slave relationship for 7 years, and she is his x-wife now.

 

FileBoom Premium Account

Keep2Share Premium Account

[GreyMac]

Tezfiles Premium Max Account

But if this is the case, then why is he not prepared to discuss it rationally? Why does he persist on pushing this when she has made it blindingly obvious that she is not happy with it?

My answer to that is:

"...many, many people do irrational things due to a misguided sense of pride."

For the real answer, OLP, you'd have to ask him. I am NOT defending him. Personally, I'd never handle that problem in that way.

He, on the other hand, has chosen to base their entire relationship on it. He's gone "All in" as they say in poker. He's gambling that she will agree to do as he says, or he's prepared to end the relationship. My thoughts are that Sarah should find someone who would be more open to her needs but only Sarah can make that decision.

I have been in a situation where I wanted pics of my Pretty One and she has the same fears as Sarah, which I understand completely. Our compromise was that she sends me pics of her that show off her beautiful legs or her lovely eyes but there are no pictures of her where her face and body are visable at the same time. Therefore no one can put the two together. She has deniability by being able to say that those shots of her face came from her MySpace or Facebook pages and she can claim that the body pictures could be of anybody.

Very often the difference between what one 'can' do and what you 'can't' do, is simply what one 'wants to' do.

 

FileBoom Premium Account

Keep2Share Premium Account

[GreyMac]

Tezfiles Premium Max Account

Originally, he agreed to no nude pictures. But he said I'm gonna have to make up for it by being extra obedient to everything else. But after he agreed, that's when, things just change, he was just not happy agreeing. The other thing is, he has this obsession to make me do things that I've never allowed my husband to do, and nude pictures was one of them. I do agree with you, it's now a pride thing, doms being doms have high pride, I tried to compromise on no head shots and no nude shots, but he won't accept it. He said I either give myself completely to him freely or not at all. He had 24/7 master and slave relationship for 7 years, and she is his x-wife now.

Sarah You posted this while I was writing my answer below. I did not mean to be redundant. My opinion is that he expects more than you are willing to give. If he was in a 24/7 Master/slave relationship for 7 years, his expectations for a submissive's behavior are probably very high. I don't think you fit that profile.

Find a decision that you can be happy with and stick to it.
I genuinely hope you find a more peaceful place.
Please keep us posted on how it goes?

 

FileBoom Premium Account

Keep2Share Premium Account

[Obedient Little Puppy]

Tezfiles Premium Max Account

Sorry Grey, I didn't mean to have a go at you or anything. But I can see where Sarah's coming from, because I was in a similar situation myself once, with another man.

You could say that this makes my argument biased, but it just angers and saddens me to see someone treated in such a way, and I doubt I'd feel differently without my own unpleasant experience behind me.

And if Sarah does decide to leave this man, and finds someone else, there's every chance that what she's going through at the moment, could cause real trust issues in the future

 

FileBoom Premium Account

Keep2Share Premium Account

[GreyMac]

Tezfiles Premium Max Account

No offense taken, O'LilPup. If you have been in a similar realtionship, my heart goes out to you as well. Sarah saying he was 24/7 for 7 years made all the difference in the world for me. He's a very experienced Master who is using strong psycological manipulation to 'bring her to heel'. If it works, she's his kind of slave. If not, she isn't. and he's left that decision up to her.

 

FileBoom Premium Account

Keep2Share Premium Account

[sarah555]

Tezfiles Premium Max Account

I went to his place last night. Negotiated with him, at first he was very insistent I let him do whatever he wants, or no go. He said slaves don't tell masters what he can or cannot do.

Then after I told him, then I guess I'm gonna have to find another dom who'd understand, and he'd have to find another sub who'd take pictures with him. Then he told me I'm not a sub, I should go find a nice man. And I told him I want a dom. And I'm gonna look for a dom. That's when he said he'd give me another chance, but I'm no longer allowed any foul language like "No" or "I don't want". He wants absolute obedience. I asked him how about the pic, he said he'd compromise to no head shots and that is it. I asked him if he could also agree to promising me if we had to part, he'd delete them all infront of me. And he went into master mode and told me I'm being naughty again and asked if I want to feel his belt. I asked him if he I allowed him to punish me all he want, would that alleviate this "sorrow" he claims I was causing him. That's when he said, alright, that's the last compromise his ever giving me.

I realise last night too, that I have seriously grown attached to him, and view myself as his property. I like being owned by him. I am still very hurt even though we have compromised, but his still cold. It seems like I'm still being punished. He said I'm gonna have to prove that I'm a good girl. So, I don't know, if things don't improve after the pictures, and his still not happy, I guess, it's not meant to be. I feel like his not appreciating anything i am giving, despite me giving more to him than I ever gave any other man in my life.

And yes, I probably can't be compared to his wife, who is a very experienced sub.

 

FileBoom Premium Account

Keep2Share Premium Account

[GreyMac]

Tezfiles Premium Max Account

Sarah, I was not comparing you to her. I was comparing your experience level to his. You and he are at very different stages of development in the S/M world. That does not mean it can't work. If you can live with his terms you may be very well suited for each other. I wish you luck and genuinely hope you find happiness.

 

FileBoom Premium Account

Keep2Share Premium Account

[sarah555]

Tezfiles Premium Max Account

Sarah, I was not comparing you to her. I was comparing your experience level to his. You and he are at very different stages of development in the S/M world. That does not mean it can't work. If you can live with his terms you may be very well suited for each other. I wish you luck and genuinely hope you find happiness.

I just don't understand why his still cold after our compromise last night. Do you think this is all a psychological punishment on his part?

The name he gave me before was like some fictional name, and when he took me back, he gave me his real name, I thought that was symbolic, like a good thing, like I got a much nicer name, but his behaviour towards me is still cold.

 

FileBoom Premium Account

Keep2Share Premium Account

[Martello]

Tezfiles Premium Max Account

I'm going to go out on a limb here - I know a lot of us are different, different fetish and ideas as to what it is we are and are not into. But this guy sounds like an asshole - no matter how I look at it. I think he sounds like a bad idea.

 

FileBoom Premium Account

Keep2Share Premium Account