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In a manner of speaking humiliation is losing or abandoning your sense of pride. Many people think embarrassment and humiliation are the same but they aren't. When the sub kneels to the dom they are showing humility or being humiliated. You don't have to call somebody a "fat sweaty faggot" to humiliate them. Some people enjoy this kind of verbal abuse play, but its not the end-all, be-all of domination or humiliation.
Some will say that a sub's ultimate goal is not just a loss of pride, but a loss of self, to be transformed from an independant person to a living apparatus of pleasure for someone else; having no thought or concern for anything except the desires of the dom. In Freudian psychology they wish to surpress the ego and the super-ego and exist totally in the id. The novel 'The Story of O' follows this theory.
Examples of humiliation commonly include:
*Crossdressing (which when stripped of its cultural mores means less than nothing as far as sex is concerned)
*The sub refering to him/herself as 'your slave' (or whore, sissy etc) instead of using the 1st person 'I' or 'me'. This reinforces the humility of loss of self identity.
*The sub engaging in sexual acts outside the sub's orientation (ie, a hetero male sucking cock)
The Story of O is a fantastic example and Desclos is a great writer, no rival to de Sade of course in the BDSM literature arena, but it's still very well done. De Sade isn't going to give you the same look into submission as Desclos though, his characters being rather different (more interesting) than the O of Desclos' book. I would still recommend it though, if you have the time and are looking for some really good bdsm reads...
Also, the sub doesn't just want to diminish themselves, they want the diminishing to be done for them, so they can really let go of that self-preservation and the responsibility of the ego. The idea of force and humiliation appeals to a lot of subs because they can show their Id without it being, technically, their responsibility. It's like comitting murder because a gun is pressed to your head--it helps remove the guilt factor. Only in this situation, the sub has a deep and secret desire to commit that murder.
Humiliation is also a great factor in the more... rough sub/dom relationships. Not everyone wants one with total submission and devotion, some like the sub to put up a bit of a fight, and humiliation is a great way to inspire that fight.
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