MIRROR: Download from MEGA
First off, thank you for your post eerie. Once I read it, I realized how important it is for me to reply. This is a hot topic for us here. We have been together for years and our vanilla life was good, but had always had some problems. As I look back it seems very clear what was wrong. At the time, I always chalked it up to plain old relationship ups and downs. When I have no defined ability to control, what I do is try to control every single thing she did. Let me tell you, it never worked well. This would lead to her being totally broken down, and me feeling alone. At the end of this sometimes long process, we would have the most amazing sex ever! I again equated this to make up sex, normal relationship stuff. One weird sign I exhibited, and know that it was a reaction to lack of control (as I no longer react this way) was to become completely insane if she got sick. I wanted to yell at the doctors and make her better by sheer will. Sexually, the signs are easier for me to see. As I look back, one of my main problems with our relationship was her total inability to bring anything new to the bedroom. I always had to initiate new things and it was impossible for me to understand her inability here. Admittedly, she would never say no to anything and if she did I played nice, made deals, and waited her out. She would always give in. Overwhelmingly, the biggest early sign has to be a feeling of something very important SOMETIMES missing. I say sometimes strongly here as I without doubt know that I will never ever have a relationship with a woman and not dominate her in some way. It must be. Our old relationship had devices of a d/s lifestyle which kept us both happy enough to continue together but it lacked the definition that truly satisfied us. So, yes I did like this before I knew what it was.
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