Control

[sebastian]

If he hasn't given you safe words, you definitely need to have a conversation with him about safety practices. I assume you've read the Newcomer's FAQ, where I talk about safety issues. As a new sub, you absolutely need to insist on safety precautions, because BDSM can be dangerous, breath play particularly. It's good that he's recognizing your stop gesture when he's choking you, but any competent dom gives a new sub safe words or something similar. That fact that he hasn't done so makes me a little worried, not that he is planning on hurting you, but that he might hurt you unintentionally. Please, for your safety and health's sake, do some reading up on safety issues (our FAQ, most books on BDSM, and many webpages on the internet) and then, once you know what you ask for, ask for it.

 

[L8NightQ]

I see trouble here and lots of it.

Take care here angel.

This guy could really hurt you. It sounds to me like this guy built his Dom personna by roughing up women and pretending they enjoy it.

There's a reason why you don't want to give up total control.

Read the Newbie thread on what a Dom should be/commandments and you'll see he doesn't fit.

How do you handle it? Listen to your gut, and read more here.