WillingToTry
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Hello I figured it's about time I post. I've been trolling every new post on the "Newcomers FAQ" post for months and reading everything I can get my hands on here and other sites, though this is my all-time favorite!
Now though... it's time to get help.
Let me give you a very fast run down. Hubby and I've been married for 11 years and up until about 3 years ago, we were VERY Mormon, but have since completely gone against that (No, that may not matter... but Vanilla is a strong word for our sex life, I’ve never even given a BJ). He is former military and has experience... he's my first and only.
6 years ago I met a man that is what he jokingly calls a "Pro Dom" and has been doing this for 30+ years. I was always fascinated by his stories, and a little more than curious. He kept telling me that I'd be 'the best sub' and always said that it was a compliment. I'm a police officer, calling me a sub was... weird. I don't bow to anyone. I can out-shoot most on the force, I am tiny but can pull off that command presence we cops so love, and I’m a huge control freak. Hubby's the calm, quiet one in our relationship. He works 2 jobs right now so I do absolutely everything in the house, from paying bills, to total care of the kids, etc etc. So how does this man think I'd make a good sub? The more I read... the more I kind of see that.
So what's this long rant about? My husband. I started bringing things up a while back... "Would you ever do such-and-such" and I always got an "I guess." erm... I hate that answer. So last week I decided to go all out and I printed off this list of 264 items “Limit List for subsâ€... I think that's what it was called. I was shocked when I marked off 101 of those that I'd try. So I passed that list over to hubby and asked him to mark anything he'd be interested in trying on me. His list was tiny! UGH.
As the days passed though... hubby began saying things like, "You know... I wouldn't mind spanking you." It grew from there and now, he's all over this! I was surprised how much changed in just a couple of days. He just needed time to work it out in his head I think.
The problem? He can't act... he has no imagination (I love him to death, but he's very logical and technical). A lot of this seems like role-play (one of my specialties), but he's never been able to pull off a role-play. He wants to! He badly wants to! I once mentioned that I wouldn't mind having some.. forced.. vampire visit in the middle of the night. All I got was a "Damn I wish I could do that." =/
Can a Dom be trained? He won't talk to my friend... I don't know why, but he won't. I keep reading about training sessions with other Dom's, but that's for the sub and he's vetoed that (My long-time friend offered a long-distance type training for me). The more I read, the more I think I want this... and the more I can't see hubby doing the Dom thing, even if he wants to.
Pathetic? Can we be helped? I just have this image for our very first scene : I'm all in heels and hawt lingerie... he walks into the bedroom, locks the door, and then just kinda stands there, unsure what to do... I could play some, maybe back talk or admit to being naughty... but I still see him just standing there. He truly wants to give us this, but how? Can a calm, docile man learn to be a good Dom?
Sorry for the novel (Did I mention I'm a published author? I can write like the dickens!)
Now though... it's time to get help.
Let me give you a very fast run down. Hubby and I've been married for 11 years and up until about 3 years ago, we were VERY Mormon, but have since completely gone against that (No, that may not matter... but Vanilla is a strong word for our sex life, I’ve never even given a BJ). He is former military and has experience... he's my first and only.
6 years ago I met a man that is what he jokingly calls a "Pro Dom" and has been doing this for 30+ years. I was always fascinated by his stories, and a little more than curious. He kept telling me that I'd be 'the best sub' and always said that it was a compliment. I'm a police officer, calling me a sub was... weird. I don't bow to anyone. I can out-shoot most on the force, I am tiny but can pull off that command presence we cops so love, and I’m a huge control freak. Hubby's the calm, quiet one in our relationship. He works 2 jobs right now so I do absolutely everything in the house, from paying bills, to total care of the kids, etc etc. So how does this man think I'd make a good sub? The more I read... the more I kind of see that.
So what's this long rant about? My husband. I started bringing things up a while back... "Would you ever do such-and-such" and I always got an "I guess." erm... I hate that answer. So last week I decided to go all out and I printed off this list of 264 items “Limit List for subsâ€... I think that's what it was called. I was shocked when I marked off 101 of those that I'd try. So I passed that list over to hubby and asked him to mark anything he'd be interested in trying on me. His list was tiny! UGH.
As the days passed though... hubby began saying things like, "You know... I wouldn't mind spanking you." It grew from there and now, he's all over this! I was surprised how much changed in just a couple of days. He just needed time to work it out in his head I think.
The problem? He can't act... he has no imagination (I love him to death, but he's very logical and technical). A lot of this seems like role-play (one of my specialties), but he's never been able to pull off a role-play. He wants to! He badly wants to! I once mentioned that I wouldn't mind having some.. forced.. vampire visit in the middle of the night. All I got was a "Damn I wish I could do that." =/
Can a Dom be trained? He won't talk to my friend... I don't know why, but he won't. I keep reading about training sessions with other Dom's, but that's for the sub and he's vetoed that (My long-time friend offered a long-distance type training for me). The more I read, the more I think I want this... and the more I can't see hubby doing the Dom thing, even if he wants to.
Pathetic? Can we be helped? I just have this image for our very first scene : I'm all in heels and hawt lingerie... he walks into the bedroom, locks the door, and then just kinda stands there, unsure what to do... I could play some, maybe back talk or admit to being naughty... but I still see him just standing there. He truly wants to give us this, but how? Can a calm, docile man learn to be a good Dom?
Sorry for the novel (Did I mention I'm a published author? I can write like the dickens!)
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