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Okay, so this is a long story to get the question of “What is your most painful BDSM experience either as M/s?†Here is mine:
After a great night of fairly tame play my top and I fell asleep in each others arms, very peaceful and satisfied. I awoke in the morning with my top between my legs slowly licking me. I wanted to ask him to stop so I could use the bathroom but wasn’t sure if I was allowed to. My top always placed a small chocker necklace around my neck before ‘playing’ and always removed it after as a clear indicator that we were done. It really was helpful because we were not just M/s but also dated exclusively but didn’t have a 24/7 M/s relationship. So, when I woke up I was still wearing the necklace but thought he probably just forgot to take it off the night before. When I started to struggle in his hold I quickly found out that he meant the collar to be on and told me that he was going to keep his mouth between my legs, keep me from cuming until I pissed while I came on his face. Wow, not expecting this at all, we never engaged in piss play before and I never wanted to either. I began to struggle with thoughts of how to get out of this situation (we never used safe words). I really was torn because if I told him I refused to piss in his face I was scared of what might happen but I also felt that it was incredibly demeaning to my top to piss in his face even though he was asking for it. So I decided I couldn’t do what he demanded, I was just not ready to go there so I asked him to stop and let me use the bathroom. My begging him to stop and him refusing while continuing to keep me on the edge of orgasm continued, he really enjoyed the struggle of keeping me still while I begged and pleaded for him to stop. He eventually decided he would let me use the bathroom but warned me that there would be consequences. He gave me a cup and told me to fill it while he watched. He then presented it to me and told me to drink up. Ok again this is not something we ever discussed engaging in and I was really shocked by the request. Again I was left wondering what to do (I have never been a “good subâ€, it takes punishment and being in subspace to get me to try new things). I was no longer turned on, nowhere near my beloved and needed “subspace†anymore and now on the verge of tears at how an amazing night was turning into a horrible morning. He was starting to get angry with me and demanded I drink. With tears running down my face I simply looked up into his eye’s and said “no Sirâ€. I really expected him to throw the cup at me but he did something much worse. He simply and without saying word gathered his things dressed and walked out the door. I immediately wanted to take everything back and just do as he asked but it was too late, he was gone.
He actually stayed away for 30 days. We saw each other here and there because we attended that same college, had the same social circle. The punishment intensified each time he saw me in public, he would look me up and down then made sure there was eye contact before giving me a disappointed/disgusted look. I had to explain to my friends that knew we were dating that we were just going through a tough time and were spending some time apart but I really didn’t know if he was ever coming back.
When he did come back it was great for a few months, we played a little rougher gagging and binding were definitely used more but we eventually could not get around the fact that I told him no and he submitted to that, ironic. I still to this day have not participated in piss play, mostly because none of my tops have been interested in that. While this experience was the most painful experience psychologically/emotionally, it taught me so much about the type of sub I am and what kind of top I need. If I had had a stronger top that new how to get me to submit then I am sure this experience would have turned out completely different. A simple gag and good binding with the right top would have had very different results.
Your turn to share
After a great night of fairly tame play my top and I fell asleep in each others arms, very peaceful and satisfied. I awoke in the morning with my top between my legs slowly licking me. I wanted to ask him to stop so I could use the bathroom but wasn’t sure if I was allowed to. My top always placed a small chocker necklace around my neck before ‘playing’ and always removed it after as a clear indicator that we were done. It really was helpful because we were not just M/s but also dated exclusively but didn’t have a 24/7 M/s relationship. So, when I woke up I was still wearing the necklace but thought he probably just forgot to take it off the night before. When I started to struggle in his hold I quickly found out that he meant the collar to be on and told me that he was going to keep his mouth between my legs, keep me from cuming until I pissed while I came on his face. Wow, not expecting this at all, we never engaged in piss play before and I never wanted to either. I began to struggle with thoughts of how to get out of this situation (we never used safe words). I really was torn because if I told him I refused to piss in his face I was scared of what might happen but I also felt that it was incredibly demeaning to my top to piss in his face even though he was asking for it. So I decided I couldn’t do what he demanded, I was just not ready to go there so I asked him to stop and let me use the bathroom. My begging him to stop and him refusing while continuing to keep me on the edge of orgasm continued, he really enjoyed the struggle of keeping me still while I begged and pleaded for him to stop. He eventually decided he would let me use the bathroom but warned me that there would be consequences. He gave me a cup and told me to fill it while he watched. He then presented it to me and told me to drink up. Ok again this is not something we ever discussed engaging in and I was really shocked by the request. Again I was left wondering what to do (I have never been a “good subâ€, it takes punishment and being in subspace to get me to try new things). I was no longer turned on, nowhere near my beloved and needed “subspace†anymore and now on the verge of tears at how an amazing night was turning into a horrible morning. He was starting to get angry with me and demanded I drink. With tears running down my face I simply looked up into his eye’s and said “no Sirâ€. I really expected him to throw the cup at me but he did something much worse. He simply and without saying word gathered his things dressed and walked out the door. I immediately wanted to take everything back and just do as he asked but it was too late, he was gone.
He actually stayed away for 30 days. We saw each other here and there because we attended that same college, had the same social circle. The punishment intensified each time he saw me in public, he would look me up and down then made sure there was eye contact before giving me a disappointed/disgusted look. I had to explain to my friends that knew we were dating that we were just going through a tough time and were spending some time apart but I really didn’t know if he was ever coming back.
When he did come back it was great for a few months, we played a little rougher gagging and binding were definitely used more but we eventually could not get around the fact that I told him no and he submitted to that, ironic. I still to this day have not participated in piss play, mostly because none of my tops have been interested in that. While this experience was the most painful experience psychologically/emotionally, it taught me so much about the type of sub I am and what kind of top I need. If I had had a stronger top that new how to get me to submit then I am sure this experience would have turned out completely different. A simple gag and good binding with the right top would have had very different results.
Your turn to share
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