Gilgland
New Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
As I have posted in a previous thread I recently got out of a relationship with my first sub due greatly to the fact that she wouldn't communicate with me on her wants and needs. Since then I have talked to and played with a few subs and switches and had a blast and really discovered some great things within myself and the community. That said, I have also found that many people I meet may know on a basic level that they like the idea of submission but they honestly have no clue what they are into past that. When I ask about how the idea of certain activities appeal to them they sometimes can not give me a honest answer even about if it sounds fun or not.
The question I am now left with is, as a new dominate myself, how do I fulfill the needs, wants, and fantasies of someone who really has no clue what they want? I know starting off slow is very important and that is actually good for me too so that I can learn to judge their reactions to things so that I can better recognize if they like or dislike whatever I am doing to them at that moment, as well as talking about things outside of play, but past that dose any one have any suggestions as far as what to do? I really do not like the trial and error system because I dread the idea of hitting on something that makes them so uncomfortable they either lose trust in me and/or never want to try any sort of play again.
So far, since my last relationship went south, I have had the good fortune to play with only experienced subs that were able to help me gain a lot of self assurance by both letting me try things I had been uncomfortable with and also talking with me outside of play about how the submissive mindset works and I feel a lot more comfortable with everything now. However, these wonderful people have been only friends and little, if any direct sexual play has been involved with these sessions and when I decide to get into my next relationship I want to be as prepared as possible so that this aspect of the relationship so that both myself and my partner are comfortable and satisfied.
The question I am now left with is, as a new dominate myself, how do I fulfill the needs, wants, and fantasies of someone who really has no clue what they want? I know starting off slow is very important and that is actually good for me too so that I can learn to judge their reactions to things so that I can better recognize if they like or dislike whatever I am doing to them at that moment, as well as talking about things outside of play, but past that dose any one have any suggestions as far as what to do? I really do not like the trial and error system because I dread the idea of hitting on something that makes them so uncomfortable they either lose trust in me and/or never want to try any sort of play again.
So far, since my last relationship went south, I have had the good fortune to play with only experienced subs that were able to help me gain a lot of self assurance by both letting me try things I had been uncomfortable with and also talking with me outside of play about how the submissive mindset works and I feel a lot more comfortable with everything now. However, these wonderful people have been only friends and little, if any direct sexual play has been involved with these sessions and when I decide to get into my next relationship I want to be as prepared as possible so that this aspect of the relationship so that both myself and my partner are comfortable and satisfied.
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