AlexisMedici
New Member
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I've been browsing the newcomer section of this site for a few days now, as well as the general fetish thread, and felt it appropriate to start my own thread... hopefully I'm doing this all right.
I've been in an almost damn near perfect relationship for over two years now. Likewise, though, it lacks a certain amount of sexual satisfaction. I'm completely open with my partner about my desire to be submissive and have been since before we ever were "together". We've talked about what I'm interested in, what he's interested in, what makes him uncomfortable, and what he enjoys... I've been able to get him to experiment-- we have a bolero strait jacket, we have handcuffs, floggers, crops, vibrators, anal toys, ropes, cuffs, and his own open hands. If I'm persistent and just a bit ornery I can initiate something, but once we get started he seems to quickly be at a loss. Normally, I can only coax a "scene" into lasting for maybe 5-10 minutes before it sort of crumbles into regular sex. When we talk afterwards he always seems to convey that while he enjoys the power and the pleasure he gives me by his dominance, he can't get over the fact that it feels forced, and in his words "a bit cheesy".
I've tried to supply him with a wealth of ideas. In all reality, I'm very comfortable being sexually dominant. In past relationships, I was able to explore many fetishes as a Top. Using this experience, I do my best to guide him without being forceful, but it seems like it just isn't working.
The reason I offer such a drawn out explanation is that because this relationship is so goddamn close to being perfect, the prospect of remaining sexually unsatisfied is terrifying. Not that I'm certainly going to be with this man forever, but I definitely see this relationship lasting a good while longer. I genuinely feel that BDSM can work for us, but that there's something holding us back from achieving a satisfying level of kink. Lack of creativity? Fear of failure? I do believe that my partner is uncomfortable with having a status of power, despite that fact that he desires it...
I'm not really sure what sort of advice I'm looking for. It would be great to hear anything, but maybe if there are some subs who have learned to humbly initiate scenes or something of that nature? I'm open to any and everything. Let me know if you need more information, and thank you for taking the time to read this.
(I originally posted this in "general fetish", realized that was probably the wrong thread, couldn't figure out how to change/delete the post, and ultimately thought it best I re-post it here if I actually wanted to draw the correct response. All apologies for the inconvenience and... newbie-ness?)
I've been in an almost damn near perfect relationship for over two years now. Likewise, though, it lacks a certain amount of sexual satisfaction. I'm completely open with my partner about my desire to be submissive and have been since before we ever were "together". We've talked about what I'm interested in, what he's interested in, what makes him uncomfortable, and what he enjoys... I've been able to get him to experiment-- we have a bolero strait jacket, we have handcuffs, floggers, crops, vibrators, anal toys, ropes, cuffs, and his own open hands. If I'm persistent and just a bit ornery I can initiate something, but once we get started he seems to quickly be at a loss. Normally, I can only coax a "scene" into lasting for maybe 5-10 minutes before it sort of crumbles into regular sex. When we talk afterwards he always seems to convey that while he enjoys the power and the pleasure he gives me by his dominance, he can't get over the fact that it feels forced, and in his words "a bit cheesy".
I've tried to supply him with a wealth of ideas. In all reality, I'm very comfortable being sexually dominant. In past relationships, I was able to explore many fetishes as a Top. Using this experience, I do my best to guide him without being forceful, but it seems like it just isn't working.
The reason I offer such a drawn out explanation is that because this relationship is so goddamn close to being perfect, the prospect of remaining sexually unsatisfied is terrifying. Not that I'm certainly going to be with this man forever, but I definitely see this relationship lasting a good while longer. I genuinely feel that BDSM can work for us, but that there's something holding us back from achieving a satisfying level of kink. Lack of creativity? Fear of failure? I do believe that my partner is uncomfortable with having a status of power, despite that fact that he desires it...
I'm not really sure what sort of advice I'm looking for. It would be great to hear anything, but maybe if there are some subs who have learned to humbly initiate scenes or something of that nature? I'm open to any and everything. Let me know if you need more information, and thank you for taking the time to read this.
(I originally posted this in "general fetish", realized that was probably the wrong thread, couldn't figure out how to change/delete the post, and ultimately thought it best I re-post it here if I actually wanted to draw the correct response. All apologies for the inconvenience and... newbie-ness?)
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