Where do you go vanilla?

nix · Jun 5, 2009

I'm just curious as to where people's S&M activities end? Is it just something you do to spice things up in the bedroom, is it a 24/7 lifestyle choice, or somewhere inbetween?

For me and my partner, it's a regular part of our sex lives and while we're not too 'extreme' in what we get up to, it would definitely be enough to make most vanilla couples blush. I don't think either of us would enjoy sex very much without it. Occasionally it bleeds over into our regular lives, but not too much (you probably wouldn't guess it by looking at us).

So where does everyone else sit?

pyroaquatic · Jun 5, 2009

The only time I partake in vanilla activities is...

when I eat ice cream.

EZRA · Jun 5, 2009

I don't know yet.
Right now, it seems to be bleeding in to our everyday life.
Not that there is any outward manifestations it's all very subtle of course.

There has definitely been a subtle shift in Goddesses attitude.(for the better)

Sparrow69 · Jun 5, 2009

I simply don't. It's a lifestyle for me and my wife, which we embrace 24/7. While we're not always dolled up in leather, latex, and lycra, we are who we are and that is in no way vanilla.

brittany6142006 · Jun 5, 2009

My boyfriend and I's sex life is primarily vanilla, with the exception of Friday's. Those are our reward days.
I'm definitely the vanilla person in the relationship, in fact- if it weren't for him, I wouldn't even be participating in it. He's the only reason I do it.
=] So, I'm very plain, but I'm starting to come around to the subculture.

Mistress_Andrea · Jun 5, 2009

For us it is a 24/7 lifestyle choice. There are ways to make everything fit into the Vanilla world so that no one outside of the lifestyle notices any difference without sacrificing my expectations and his duties.

subspace · Jun 5, 2009

We are so vanilla on the outside, no one knows about the D/s part of our live (except you fine folk). Our sex life is almost entirely D/s with just very few exceptions while everyday has become a mix of vanilla and BDSM. I would love to know how others with families manage this 24/7 it can get very tricky with kids, work, school, etc. We are constantly trying to find the balance but it is very tough when you try to walk the line b/w the day-to-day â€˜normalâ€™ life and our need for D/s. It feels like two forces pulling against each other sometimes.

Sparrow69 · Jun 5, 2009

subspace said:
We are so vanilla on the outside, no one knows about the D/s part of our live (except you fine folk). Our sex life is almost entirely D/s with just very few exceptions while everyday has become a mix of vanilla and BDSM. I would love to know how others with families manage this 24/7 it can get very tricky with kids, work, school, etc. We are constantly trying to find the balance but it is very tough when you try to walk the line b/w the day-to-day â€˜normalâ€™ life and our need for D/s. It feels like two forces pulling against each other sometimes.

For me its quite simple. I have a wife, an ex-wife, and 4 kids (2 with each). I don't hide anything from my kids that vanilla parents don't. I don't let them watch me have sex, and I don't let them watch me discipline others, just like a vanilla parent won't argue in front of their children. Take it in the other room. When asked, i give informative answers, allowing my children to be informed and non-judgmental. I provide the same amount of information about ever situation that may be considered taboo, so that my children don't have the moral hangups that our culture breeds, which often lead to hatred and intolerance.

Think of it this way. for those of us here interested in hentai anime like "la blue girl" with scenes of demons, violence, colorful language, sexual assault, and sexual intercourse acts that include, oral, anal, vaginal, bondage, incest, and bestiality, these are reserved for adults here. In japan, these same cartoons are viewed on public tv as Saturday morning entertainment.. their children are more accepting of variable cultures, self expression, and self acceptance. Their violence rate is less then 50% ours and hate crimes are closer to 70% less then ours per capita.
By educating their children, as opposed to shielding them from what we feel may be harmful to view, their children are more accepting and understanding, and this more respectful to their brethren.

subspace · Jun 5, 2009

Thanks Sparrow, that really does make sense.

Edit: I appreciate your ability to take the complex and break it down into simple terms.

Obedient Little Puppy · Jun 5, 2009

Sometimes my master and I will do vanilla stuff, as we don't have a 'proper' relationship we can't meet as often as we'd like, so when we do we do have some normal sex, but he is teaching me about BDSM as I have previously only known about bondage. I have not been doing so well and am quite ashamed, but really want to do so much better

Where do you go vanilla?

nix

Guest

pyroaquatic

Member

EZRA

Member

Sparrow69

Moderator

brittany6142006

Member

Mistress_Andrea

Member

subspace

Member

Sparrow69

Moderator

subspace

Member

Obedient Little Puppy

Moderator

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