Ezra intro the long version



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Hello again..
I am a new sub though I've known I'm a sub for a long time.
I sorta incountered BDSM close to 20 years ago in Dallas while I was working in
the theatrical arts (lights, sets, sound no acting) when a friend of mine asked me if I could desing and run lights for a little event they were producing called
"Beyond Vanilla" as they had no money I would be doing it gratis.
well I coulnd't say" no" to the women who deflawered me some ten years earlyer
( and I'm still gratfull)
so I found myself meeting some of the most interesting and kind people I have ever incountered including ( not to drop names or anything)
Fakir Musafar ( the spelling is most likley incorect)
as I spent time with these people and attended many partys I became fasinated with the practis of BDSM and quikly learnd that it was nothing like I thought it was.
and when I was "assed" for lack of a better term it was clear (as I had already begain to suspect) that I had the personalty triats consistent with a submissive.
no effort was made to get me to "play" more it was just sujested I might enjoy it.
due to the circmistances of my life at that time(bad marrige/active alcoholic) it was for the best that I didn't persue that aspect of my personality at the time.
shortly after that I found my self doing the lighting for West Coast Drummer Pagent as is was likely that I was the only stait male in a two block area I found the whole thing very amusing and interesting.
Never again will I here the song "Welcome to the jungle" with out some very bizare imagrie coming to mind.
now fast forwad a few years to when I got into recovery and met my present wife
who I shall refer to from this time forward as
Goddes of the Universe or with the acyronim GOTU.
We met decided we could stand eachother enuff to live together.
had lots of great vanilla sex ,2 kids and generaly put together a good life.

next time in installment 2 I'll tell you of the events that lead to our first...a..
dosent seem right
more like an exploration of SM.
untill then Thanks for reading.
ps. please feel free to ask me anything as I am a very open person maybe too open and not likely to take offense.
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you'd be amazed how many people say that about shorter people. for example, I've known this couple for years that i actually see and talk to in person all the time, Its safe to say we've all been really good friends since we met. a month ago, the girl looks at me and says "ya know, your shorter today then usual. I usually have took up to you, don't I?" Shes 6 inches taller then i am, she was drop dead serious, and shes not the first one to say it, i'm sure she won't be the last.

Fact is, strong personalities seem to give the illusion of height, as its often associated with being a dominant force.
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Fakir was a very kind and soft spoken man.
something that could be hard to recosile with seeing him hang by large hooks going thru his peck museles.
He also pionered the"Male Corset" fetish? I remember seeing pictures of him as a young man in the 50's wareing an (I think it was an 8" corset).
He said it took a huge amount of disapline and dedication to get that small.

I also remember he had away of seeing into your soul .
I always had the strangest feeling I would do ANYTHING he asked me to do without question or hesitation. wich is kind of funny really I never thought of him as DOM. but as I think back even his lightest sujestions were quwikly carried out.
I wonder now if that was hero worship or if he was just that good of a DOM?
maybe I just answerd my own question.

got things to do now I'll log on later to continue my story.
Thanks for the warm greetings
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........now let's see were was I ?.......
oh yea recovery, wife aka. GOTU, kids and life.
I'm not going to talk about recovery here only because this forum isn't about that ,it's not that I woulnd't it's just not the place, but it might come up from time to time as it aplies to subject at hand and it would also requier a larg amount of space to cover adiquitly.

so life happened as it always dose and Goddess and I were and are close for the most part not perfect by any means. Both of us have our issues but managed to defuse the conficks that arose from these befor they turned into all out knock down drag outs fights. There are benifets to Recovery one of them being an intence knowledge of self.

Goddess of the universe is selfassured,strong willed, and beautifull.( by any standard)
She dose not suffer fools. She want's the bumper sticker that says"I hate every one." she is good at what she dose even thought she hates it.
She is very detailed orintated,has a costic sence of humer and a strong need to control siuations.( this was my first clue)
She loves our children fiercly and is very protective of them but they are expetied to behave appropratly for the situation and be respectfull and mind the first time.

I don't want to get caught up in adetailed description of her pesonality but hopefuly this will give you a genral idea.
and I won't go into detail about my self as you will figuer it out for your self.

Now a couple of years ago her interest in sex started to wane for many reasones
and she also started to withdraw from me on an emotional leval.
wich in turn triggered my insecuritys and needenes and needles to say we'v had a couple of rough patches .but we still loved each other and both wanted it to work and eventualy we found that what was going on was a responce to stress
work.money ,tiredness.
she was going" introverted-robot" an survival tactic from her childhood w/ an abusive parent. (my next clue)
and I was going" ultra needy " from abandoment issues
as you can see this is not a good mix.

no S&M did not fix every thing, at this point I'm only just starting to think about it.
we pulled it to gether and made a point of talking about stuff on a regular basis.

It's what happened next that compeled me to seriusly consider it.
over the last 6 months 2 members of Godesses family (the ones we like and are close to) die of cancer and then 2 months ago her mother is diagnosed with nonhogkens lyphmoma now if there is any thing that can trigger your control issues it's cancer.
that and the economic downturn and my work drying up and well she was at her limit. crying evry day ( she never crys) mood swings, sudden rage.

I did every thing I could think of to help her but in reality I was hepless.
it was during one of her better moments when, while we were horseing around that she started to hit me with the belt of her bath robe.
(yes we finealy got to the good part)
I said to her" you can't hurt me with that"so naturaly ,chalenged ,she had to.
and then she proceded to whack me with the bathrobe belt untill I actualy yelped
then she said "oh are you going to cry like a little girl now bitch"
she never dose any thing half way.
then by accident she hit me on my face then bent down as a way of apolige
she gave me the most passionet kiss(not during sex) she had given me in 2 or 3 years and her spirits seemed to be lifted for a change.
It was at that moment that I dicided to buy her a flogger.

ok I have to stop now.
but I'll finish it next time where I tell of my adventure in flooger buying and
in great detail the first time Godess of the Universe used it on me.
Thanks for reading

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......Well now that I had come to the decision to get a flogger for for my as yet unaware Misstress the question became were? ,what kind? and how much?
And like anything these days the place to start was the interwebb.

It's funny if you enter Whips& Chains into a search engine you end up with alot of croche' and nitting sites.
eventualy I ran across this Ultra High end just for S&M custom whip and flogger maker that was way out of my price range but was an exelent sorce of information and after read thru thier web site I had a decent idea of what I thought GOTUwould want wantand what I thought I could handle.

Leather (obviusely)

strips not braids ( theres something of a learning curve to flogging and I'm not ready to have flesh removed yet)

about 2' in lenth ( long enuff for good action but not so long as to inflect hevy damage ,see above)

farily small diamiter handle ( she has small hands)

reasonably light ( wound't want her to get tired)

and unfortunatly cheep ( I would be in a great deal of trouble if I spent a lot of money on some thing like this right now maybe later if she really enjoys it but not now)

so were would would I find it?
The big problem with the webb is you can't hold whatevre it is so it's hard to judge if it's what you want.
The local Sex toy shop? usaly overpriced ( and the first one I looked in had only a couple of poor specimens that were totaly incapable of leaving any sort of mark and seriusely over priced and as I was testing one on my arm the clerk was giving me the stinkeye)

MAke your own? I gave real thought to this option as I am very good with my hands
(you can take that any way you want)
so I started to look for the matrial that I needed but fate decided to step in and just as I was going to a local leather shop I happend across a little place called Fasinations and decided to have a look. After finding the BDSM section behind a little wall I was pleasently surprised to find a good selection of whips and floggers at decent prices and suddenly there it was just as I had described above and only $25 to boot.

The maybe 18 year old cleark gave a (oh your That kind of perv look) then asked me if I needed hand cuffs to go with it? always got to up sell
I told her "no, My Mistress is better than that" wich of course I had no idea but the question annoyed me.
maybe she realized she had crossed some line or maybe not but after that she just said thank you and handed me the bag.

on my way home I started thinking about restaints and remembered this thick black rope at our local Loews and as usal I got carried away and went and bought some pluse four 1"and half welded rings. you see there is this typ of restraint that you can make by tying a knot in one end of a rope then sliping the other end thru a metal ring making a loop then passing the end back thru the ring the knot brevents the rope from passing thru the ring after you put the loop over what ever you want to secure like a hand or a foot it gose on fast snugs up quiky and tightly but with no effort can be quikly removed.
I'll post a picture as soon as I figure out how.

sorry I'm going to have to stop now I thought I would get farther than this today but I ve run out of time as always I have things I have to do and I don't want to rush the next part.
Thanks for reading
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I didn't end up giving my soon to be Mistress the flogger for a couple of weeks just because of timeing issues.
I felt is was important to be presented to her at just the right moment.
but I did let it slip that I had gotten something for her that was "speacial" wich as you girls know can bring dread as well as quirosity, and hoped that when she was ready she would ask about it.

Well nothing ever goes acorrding to plan, but it was close.
We were horseing around one Saterday morning some were between "Slap&tikkle" and not seriuse forplay( the kids were awake) when I mentioned that she had not yet asked about her "special" present.
"I 've been meaning to ask you about that...."
" Well..."
" Your afraid of what it might be?"
" don't be it's something you'll like.....Trust me." with a grin
then I said "It's not longeri "
then she said"..Is..it a ...strap-on?"with real trepidation
"no......I'm telling you you'll like it but I'm not going to give it to you untill tonite and only if you'r in the mood"

OK ,I know this dosent sound like me the bottom and her the Top but sometimes you gota do what you gota do to get some thing done and when I go Top on her she really gets annoyed and quroiuse .
and thats just the space I wanted her to be in when I gave it to her.
so later in the evening arter we had put the kids to bed, I took my shower and did my best "getting lucky shave" then found her still awake(luckily) and gave her the cute little black plastic bag(I know I should have wraped it) and sat on the ottomen in front of "HER" chair and wated nervisoly for her reaction.

first it was releaf "OH!"
then surprise "this is real? an actual whip!?!"
then a slow smile as she started to swing the tails around getting a feel for it trying diferent actions to see what kind of sounds she could get from it and the best way to make it "SNAP"
she was absolutly facinated with the flogger and I was releaved she didn't "feakout" ,get pissed or worse give me that "so you'r in to THAT look.

then befor I even realised it there was a little "POP" on my back followed with a giggle
"..oh thats just wrong" she giggled again
another "POP" giggle "POP" giggle then "oh it's soo wrong that is soo much fun"

I took my shirt off, I felt like it was time to step it up a bit and I wanted her to start seeing marks. Some times you have to show your Dom/s to path you want to go down.
The scene was right I was sitting at her feet while she was laounging in her chair casuly swinging the flogger around flicking my back when it suited her. I knew what she needed now to push her over the top was flinching and marks.

"....oh...well if thats "all" your going to do with it I can see if the the store will take... "SMACK!!!
Then she bent down to look at were she had hit me, gently caressing the welt.
"thats why I bought it, I love you , do what you want to."
then she gave me a soft kiss, we moved into the garge were I asked her if she wanted to restrian me and she said "I can control you with out that SIT DOWN BITCH!" so I sat in a chair back words. isn't irony great?.
then she said in a commanding tone

"what were you saying?"
"nothing WHAT!?!"(smack)!
"nothing (her name)"
" you don't get to say my name bitch"(Smack)
"What were you saying?" brushing me with the tails
"..nothing... mistress"
( miss) I could feel the air move on my back as the tails brushed by
"no" SMACK!
"How do you get to address me" fliping the tails over my chest then wraping them gently around my neck
I had to foucus. my heart rate was up every thing was suddenly very intense. what did she want?
Then she riped the flogger back giving me a slite rope burn around my neck.
"your taking too long"another near miss is this on purpuse?
SMACK! right on my side that one really hurt .
I love her.
Then I remebered the girls had started calling her the Goddess of the Universe as sort of a joke.I bet that is what she was looking for but I wasn't ready to give it to her just yet.
" I said nothing...Godess"
"better but I know that you know what I want and your just being stubborn"
she said this to me as she was sweeping the flogger all over my body then she stepped back and.......
"are you ready bitch"
(miss) damm!, I thought she's a friggen natual
"are you ready now?"
"yes Goddess of the Universe"
"that one was just for me, now lets go FUCK that made me soo wet ".

and that is how Goddess of the Universe was born.
we procoded to have the most intense sex we'v had in ages
and the next day and week we both noticed that we felt very close to each other
and I noticed that I felt very good about my self more secuer and happier.
the pain was nothing compared to her enjoyment and I felt good to give he that
every stroke just reinfoced my love for her and her giving me her whole attention made me feel good about my self.
Is that too mushy?
well I don't care it how I feel.
Thanks for reading
I might post more if you people want it.
But we haven't managed a seconed session yet , not for lack of wanting, just life getting in the way but the benifets of the first are still lingering.

Thank you for your time
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