Anal sex

Phantasm · Oct 21, 2009

Gentle pressure, stop, back off. Repeat. Your outer sphincter in within your conscious control, your inner sphincter isn't. By applying the pressure, allowing it to sit a moment (you need not shove all teh cock in, just enough pressure to the point just before discomfort), and backing off, before repeating, you allow time and pressure to open your hole, and the lack of pain when it's done properly helps relaxing.

Yes, toys and gradual getting used to it will help a bit. Yes, relaxing a bit beforehand will help a bit. But essentially, it' getting comfortable with whatever is penetrating you, not getting relaxed/stetched enough for it.

And, as everyone else has said, lube. Lots of lube. As much as you need.

Obedient Little Puppy · Oct 21, 2009

I personally find that the most comfortable position to be in to do anal is lying on your side, with your partner lying behind you in a spooning position. This, if I remember rightly, was later proved somewhere to be a well known fact.

It's best to get as comfortable as possible before you even touch it, and this will probably help you to relax too

Sparrow69 · Oct 21, 2009

GreyMac said:
Everyone below has good advice, you can't go wrong if you follow it. The only thing I think could be added would be to really stress how important it is for the Dominant one here to BE PATIENT! (Sorry for yelling, there, but it's something I feel strongly about.) Too many people have been turned off to how wonderful anal play can be because someone in their past got overeager and tried to rush things. If ever there was a place where foreplay is absolutely critical, it's with anal play, be it sex or toys, Don't rush into it. For an anal virgin, five or more minutes of just circling massage, pressure and teasing insertion of a fingerTIP is good. and lots of lube! Then add some more lube. Then progress to the finger then two fingers technique mentioned by AMgirl, then on to toys. Toys are especially good to get the anus accoustomed to being used for penetration.

Good luck!

I think greyMac hit the nail right on the head with this one. patience and communication make it a much more relaxing and enjoyable experience for everyone involved. tell them what your feeling. Its your body, and they have no way of knowing if their going to fast or not if you don't speak up. I've had partners that take 2 mins of prep their first time, and some seasoned vets that take 20 minutes.... the difference is all in talking and prepwork.

vanilla137 · Oct 22, 2009

Okay...has anyone tried the sideways entry position mentioned by OLP? Is it more comfy?

GreyMac · Oct 23, 2009

From what I understand, it's definately more comfy. Men who have serious proctology work, biopsies, surgery, etc and anyone having GI work in general such as colonoscopy, the work is performed in this position, on side with knees pulled up somewhat.

vanilla137 · Oct 23, 2009

Okay, so I think i'll try that position first...the doggy style one is a little uncomfortable!!!!!

Obedient Little Puppy · Oct 23, 2009

I'm not sure what everyone else to say about this, but to lower the sphincter onto the raised cock of someone lying down is the MOST painful way, in my experience.

This, however, and the most comfortable one I mentioned earlier, are referring to the actual anal sex. For the insertion of plugs etc., doggy style, or bent over, I imagine would be the easiest ways

Nuisance · Nov 22, 2009

Another thing is if you have already had a couple of orgasms before even trying anal it has a tendency to relax. For me in the beginning was a lot of foreplay, now Master doesn't even have to use any lube but from my vag. It is amazing.

But other lovers have had problems with being too insistent and not being patient. Takes time.

Midnightwolfling · Nov 22, 2009

My ex-husband was insistent on anal but respected my wishes till I was ready. Just about 10 yrs worth into our marriage. We found that vaseline worked the best, it never dried out or neither of us would have an allergic reaction to it. Doggie style was the only way I could take him comfortably and never on the first go. If I could get him aroused twice then the second time was always easier for me.

With M'lord I broke Him into the world of anal.

We both discovered that yes there are limits but we are teaching each other what the other likes and doesn't like. He has become very fascinated with anal sex which doesn't bother me. Because of our body statures, either me on top or curled in a ball on my back works best for us. I have discovered that there is a little bit of masochist in me but He is still really gentle when my body jumps. He lets me set the pace, he will not force me to a faster pace unless I want it.

sebastian · Dec 28, 2009

A good place to start with anal play is with the bottom on top, mounting the top's shaft. That allows the bottom to ease down gently as his/her sphincter relaxes. Once the bottom is all the way down, the top can gently begin to thrust or the bottom can work up and down. The drawback here is that the bottom is the one in control, which might work against the submissive aspect of the relationship, but the top can still give orders to the bottom, and once the bottom has gotten comfortable, you can move on to other positions. There's going to be some mild pain and discomfort until you've gotten used to the sensations, but if there is a serious pain, withdraw and don't try to repeat it that evening. Anal sex should NEVER involve significant pain.

Anal sex

Phantasm

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Obedient Little Puppy

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Sparrow69

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vanilla137

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GreyMac

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vanilla137

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Nuisance

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Midnightwolfling

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